I think my wife's baby name choices are really stupid - it's tearing us apart

“I may as well name our daughter Hortensia Beerbong the Third … it sounds just as dumb,” flabbergasted David writes.

Before Melissa* and David* got married, they made an agreement.

If they had a baby girl, David would decide her name. The same goes for Melissa - if they had a boy, she could choose his name.

Both agreed this was a fair and reasonable arrangement, so they thought they had struck gold when Melissa fell pregnant with twins. 

Then David heard the name his wife chose for their baby - Neville. 

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David and Melissa couldn't agree on an appropriate baby name. Source: iStock

Man thinks wife’s baby name choice is “bad” and “really stupid” 

“The name is bad,” he confessed to Reddit. “It sounds really stupid, and it's absolutely the kind of name that will get our son bullied.”

Unimpressed with her choice, David “vetoed” the decision. “But my wife said I can't because that wasn't our agreement,” he wrote. 

Melissa defended her name choice, arguing it was inspired by a “character she identified with in one of her favourite books.” 

This reasoning wasn’t enough for David, though. “Emotional attachment doesn't make the name itself any better,” he said. 

Melissa wasn’t relenting; this was the name she chose. Ultimately, this was her decision. 

“Then I may as well name our daughter Hortensia Beerbong the Third,” David argued. “It sounds just as dumb.”

After a back-and-forth with his wife, the American couple reached an impasse. 

“Now, obviously, I'm not actually going to name my daughter that, and I'm pretty sure my wife knows that too,” David assured the audience. “I was just trying to help her see the mistake she was making, but she's not listening to reason.”

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Wrangled with stress, Melilssa began “hinting” at giving birth in a different location, keeping David out of the naming equation. 

“I think that's uncalled for,” he argued. No matter how much he wanted to keep his wife happy, her name choice continued to irk him. 

“I think her name choice is dumb and will cause problems for our son, and she thinks I'm being controlling and overdramatic,” he said. 

“Neither of us are willing to back down, but with her hints about skipping town for the birth, I've been wondering if things have gone too far.”

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“Baby names are the least of your problems”

It was widely agreed that the couple had some other issues to sort out and should ultimately decide on their kids’ names equally. 

“This child is both of yours,” a person wrote. “This couple has some serious issues, and it sounds like this kind of behaviour is very normalised,” another noted. 

“Baby names are really the least of your problems,” a person added. 

Some were baffled by the argument entirely. 

“There are so many names, if you can't agree on a short list of names before you get to that point, you should maybe rethink having kids in the first place,” said another. 

“Personally, I don't even understand why a parent wouldn't want to be a part of that decision,” another added.

For others, Melissa’s name choice was far less offensive than David made it. “It's a classic, normal name,” read a comment. “David is making up reasons to be mad about it.” 

“If kids are going to bully, it doesn't matter what your child's name is,” a person wrote. 

But others took David’s side. “You should name pets after interests, not kids,” wrote a supporter. “They’re a person, not an accessory.”

*Names have been changed

Originally published as I think my wife's baby name choices are really stupid - it's tearing us apart