Federal Election 2022: James Weir recaps the first leaders’ debate
Anthony Albanese attempted to use a trick from Scott Morrison’s playbook but made an embarrassing mistake every Australian has made at a party. James Weir recaps.
A sneaky attempt to outsmart ScoMo backfired on Albo during the first leaders’ debate of the federal election last night when he fumbled the ball and made an embarrassing mistake that every single Australian has made at a party.
Even with four weeks left of the campaign, The Sky News-Courier Mail’s People Forum was really the final chance for the opposition leader to prove to the people he could think on his feet.
His campaign has suffered a shaky start. He has been spooked by gotcha questions.
Last night, tasked with answering questions from an audience of 100 undecided voters, he needed to come out swinging and dazzle the country with an unshakeable confidence.
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Three years ago, in that exact room at Brisbane’s The Gabba, ScoMo waltzed around that same stage while facing off with then-Labor leader Bill Shorten.
Sparks flew.
As leader of the opposition, Bill was a scrappier opponent.
He was the short kid standing up to ScoMo the schoolyard bully. The more ScoMo used the stage, so did Shorten. It got to the point where they were almost physically walking rings around each other.
Cut to 2022, Albo lacked that eagerness. And it resulted in an hour that was about as eventful as MasterChef: The Professionals.
At the halfway mark, the first sign of a squabble appeared when ScoMo asked Albo why he didn’t support asylum seeker boat turnbacks when he was deputy prime minister. We all thought things were finally starting to heat up, but ScoMo backed down and wound up his own fight, only to turn around and make his one stumble of the evening.
When a mother with an autistic son asked about the NDIS, ScoMo went and bragged about how he’d been “blessed” to have kids without disabilities.
And you know who called him out for it on Twitter? Shadow NDIS Minister Bill Shorten. See? There’s that scrappiness again.
This was the moment ScoMo decided to rest one of his favourite secret tricks. All evening, whenever an audience member would ask a question, he’d try to get relatable by asking a bit about them – their name, profession, family life. A very folksy scheme.
ScoMo says he is “blessed†to have two non disabled children. Every child is a blessing. The NDIS is there to help people with disability live their lives to the fullest. The Morrison Gov has slashed NDIS plans for 1000s of children around Australia. Labor will fix the NDIS.
— Bill Shorten (@billshortenmp) April 20, 2022
The trick had been working a treat until his clumsy attempt at getting relatable about the NDIS. It was his go-to. And in the meantime, Albo had started to notice the trick and thought he’d give it a whirl. It seemed easy enough. Just ask someone their name – how hard could it be?
Very.
When a guy in the audience asked a question about JobKeeper accessibility for small business owners, Albo swooped in and excitedly tried to outsmart ScoMo by asking the man’s name. But then he fumbled the ball. He got so distracted by the excitement of stealing ScoMo’s trick that he just started calling the audience member “Michael” when his name was actually “Daniel”.
“Michael” isn’t even in the ballpark of “Daniel”. He may as well have called him “Tiffany”.
How this flub occurred is crystal clear. It’s an agonising mistake we’ve all made at parties. You meet someone new, confidently ask their name – but then you zone out because you’re secretly congratulating yourself in your head for having tremendous social skills and you forget to pay attention when the person answers what their name is.
ScoMo’s secret trick should not be attempted by amateurs. The complex two-step process involves both talking and listening. It takes years to master. ScoMo should patent it.
After hearing about Tiffany’s small business woes, we finally got the beginnings of another squabble when the subject of a new security pact between China and the Solomon Islands was tossed into the forum.
The Prime Minister got huffy as he dismissed criticism of his government and then desperately fired a shot at Albo.
“What I don’t understand is, why would you take China’s side?” he said.
“That’s an outrageous slur!” Albo hit back.
Suddenly, the sound of journalists click-clacking away on their keyboards could be heard all around The Gabba, as they were finally gifted a half-decent pull-quote to write into a headline.
It was a phrase Albo had kept in his back pocket all night. Before heading in, his press team would’ve been brainstorming a way to get at least one good headline from the night about their boss. “Outrageous slur” was perfect. It’s dramatic, it’s accusatory to the opposition and it’s really an all-purpose comeback that can be applied to literally any situation. There was no way this debate was going to end without Albo using it. Even if the final seconds were ticking down and ScoMo said, “Hey Albo, nice haircut,” Anthony would’ve screamed, “That’s an outrageous slur!”
He should’ve left it there. But he was riding high on the adrenaline of getting to use his comeback and decided to take a jab at the PM for sending the Minister for International Development and the Pacific to the Solomon Islands to convince them to nix the China pact.
“They should have sent the Foreign Minister! Instead, they sent the junior burger along!”
It was an unwise dis that’s offensive to junior burgers around the nation.
Since the 2019 federal election, 600,000 Australians have enrolled to vote and half of them are aged 18. That’s a lot of junior burgers.
Never underestimate the junior burger vote.
Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir
Originally published as Federal Election 2022: James Weir recaps the first leaders’ debate
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