These alcohol-based drinks from the 2000s should never have been ordered

Regrets - we’ve all got them. Some are big, some are small and some .... well ... they involve alcohol. Here’s the drinks we definitely regret ordering in the 2000s.

The early 2000s were a wild time for bar culture.

Eyebrows were thin, fringes were swept, and our palates were, shall we say, immature.

These are the top 10 drinks that we really shouldn’t have been ordering.

Jagerbombs were the party-starter and the party-ender.

Jägerbombs

The cause of dusty mornings and bleary eyes the city over, the Jägerbomb was the way we either got the party started, or kicked it into (sugar)high gear in the wee hours. Syrupy sweet Jägermeister shots, dropped into glasses of Red Bull and chugged to the last drop. Classy.

Malibu and pineapple juice - AKA The Poor Man’s Pina Colada - is delicious.

Malibu and anything

Don’t get us wrong, a Malibu and pineapple juice – AKA The Poor Man’s Pina Colada – is delicious. But it’s not really the kind of round we’re about to order at afterwork drinks, you know? Consumed with no shame throughout the early 2000s, Malibu mixed with anything was a sugary stepping stone that we’re happy to leave behind.

Midori was big in the noughties.

Midori and lemonade

In the same realm as Malibu, melon-flavoured Midori was big in the noughties. After gaining popularity in the 90s thanks to drinks like the Midori Illusion and the Japanese Slipper (fun fact: the Japanese Slipper was created in Melbourne in 1984) the melon liqueur with lemonade was giving peak tropicana vibes and peak glucose spikes.

If it had a dirty name we were drinking it.

Any shot with a gross name

We’re not going to list them here, for reasons that will become clear if you do a quick Google search, but shots with gross names go hand in hand with this era. References to body parts, special cuddles, frisky cowboys and beyond; if it had a dirty name we were drinking it.

Special shout out to the Black Russian. We see you.

Creamy drinks

Baileys and milk, White Russians, chocolate martinis, Toblerones. Milk or cream-based cocktails walked so that the espresso martini could run. Editor’s note: special shout out to the Black Russian. We see you.

Cranberry was everywhere in the 2000s.

Vodka Cranberry

You must understand, in the 2000s, thin was very much in. And throwing down a dozen drinks on a Saturday night was totally acceptable because of an added dash of cleansing cranberry juice.

Agwa Bombs were a short-lived competitor to the Jagerbomb.

Agwa Bombs

A short-lived competitor to the Jagerbomb, Agwa bombs were fun because they were served in cute bubble glasses with layers of Red Bull and the Bolivian-made Agwa spirit. With coca leaves listed as just one of 37 ingredients, we were absolutely convinced we were getting a Company Caine buzz from it. Surely nothing to do with the Red Bull.

Smirnoff Double Blacks in your slouch bag indicated a great night.

Smirnoff Double Blacks

Cast your mind back. Your Dream Matte Mousse foundation is flawless, the smell of fried hair is in the air, and you’ve got a four pack of Smirnoff Double Blacks warming up in your slouch bag. It’s going to be a great night.

The Appletini.

The Appletini

With its slap-dash ‘recipe’ that could include anything from apple juice, apple liquor, apple schnapps and whatever vodka you could get your hands on, at least the Appletini gave ‘balance’ a red hot go. It could be as sour or sweet as you liked and while it may have been a flash in the pan, it was more than welcome to join the party.

The Penicillin was a baptism of fire.

Penicillin

Oh, so sophisticated. The Penicillin was a baptism of fire just before whisky bars became A Thing and we choked these down like they were going out of fashion. Smoky Scotch, ginger and honey, the Penicillin was basically a health tonic and we won’t be told otherwise.

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Originally published as These alcohol-based drinks from the 2000s should never have been ordered