Arnott’s biscuits ranked from best to worst: Have your say

Biscuit giant Arnott’s has a great selection of sweet biccies but which is your favourite? Delicious taste tests some of the most popular. Vote in our poll to have your say.

A biscuit is more than a sweet hit, a dunkable morsel for morning tea. It can hold childhood memories and even a sense of national pride.

Arnott’s hold a place in Australian culture that goes far beyond what’s in our biscuit tins.

As a Brit I’m perhaps taking my leave to remain in my hands, rating the canon of Australia’s saintly baker of biccies.

Here goes.

Iced VoVo, A Misplaced Nostalgia

Let’s get this out of the way quickly. The plainest of biscuits dressed up with a bit of fondant, a strip of raspberry jam, and some desiccated coconut that’s dry as a desert.

You either love or hate Iced VoVo's.

A disappointment that it doesn’t live up to the iconic status.

My Aussie panel agrees that while there’s nostalgia at play here and that it’s a bit “grandma-ish” it’s all a bit meh.

From henceforth known as the “Meh VoVo.”

Wagon Wheels Keep On Rolling

The Australian panel tell me it reminds them of the school tuck shop. But this is one that transcends hemispheres, a biscuit that I’ve not had myself since childhood.

It has the trinity of biscuit crunch, chocolate and pillowy marshmallow. There’s balance and texture and sweetness.

A thumbs up across the board.

Do Wagon Wheels make your list of favourites?

Dependable Dunkers

Maybe I’m just a man of simple tastes but I’m enamoured by the classic uncoated likes of the Nice (best pronounced with a French accent), Milk Arrowroot and the Milk Coffee. Not too sweet, subtle in flavour and very importantly they are dependable dunkers.

Tim Tams Slammed

“Tim Tams have like 20 flavours because they are the best; it’s like the votes already in,” is the opening salvo in our Tim Tam deliberation.

It’s a solid hypothesis, but it’s quickly proven to be lacking.

There is a big selection of Tim Tam chocolate biscuits.

The “tasting notes” (AKA muttering through a full mouth of crumbs) for Dimbulah Mountain State Coffee and Chocolate read “nah, more like International Roast,” and that it looks like a Tim Tam but it’s a “wolf in Tam Tams clothing”.

Murray River Salted Double Choc is another case of nah. Salt and chocolate can be glorious. This isn’t. The same goes for many of the “posh Tim Tams”.

A Classic Step Up

Who needs a posh and ultimately unpleasing Tim Tam when you’ve got the Kingston, Scotch Finger, Butternut Snap and Ginger Nut.

I’ll confess I can quiet easily make a packet (or two) of Scotch Fingers magically disappear.

My stage name: The Great Gutso. A note on the Ginger Nut (which shoulders out competition in this field), is that there’s debate as to whether it could take the Arnott’s top spot.

Aromatic, crisp, tough, dunkable with a great aftertaste and unlike many others, not too sweet. But could it take the crown, against the likes of the original Tim Tam?

Snap the Scotch Finger in half and enjoy.

Tim Tam Redemption

While the posh Tim Tam iterations are a major miss there’s no denying that both the original and the double coated are a thing of biscuity genius.

Brits often comment that a Tim Tam is essentially a Penguin. A lesson, close to sermon, usually follows.

I have been known to send Tim Tams to family in the UK for Christmas with an instructional video on how to perform the slam. But is it top dog?

Mint Slice Memories

Strangely luxurious, its prominent whiff tuning into after dinner mint memories; the height of eighties sophistication.

Who’s a fan of Mint Slice?

A battle ensues between the Tim Tam and this minty underdog. Controversial perhaps but it’s a clear choccy coated winner.

Not too sweet like, say, a Gaeity or a Caramel Crown, and just has that x-factor.

The fact that the Mint Slice hasn’t been buggered with in the way Tim Tams have perhaps plays a part.

“You can actually trick yourself into thinking that it’s not that bad for you because it’s minty fresh,” I offer to the panel.

A push too far I’m told. And perhaps for many anointing the Mint Slice could also be a step too far.

“Hey bro, there’s always New Zealand.”

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Originally published as Arnott’s biscuits ranked from best to worst: Have your say