Dinner party etiquette: should you drink the wine you bring?

While most people know they should bring a bottle of wine to a party, what is less clear is whether you can open it up and pour yourself a drink. Have your say.

There’s a general understanding that you don’t show up to a dinner party empty-handed.

The host will protest “oh, you shouldn’t have!”, cheeks will be kissed and you move right along. So, what happens with the vino you’ve just handed over?

Many see the bottle of wine as a buy-in for the party, a token of appreciation that the host can either choose to serve on the night or to put away and save for later. Others will assume that if they’ve brought the plonk, they’re drinking it too.

There are a few ways to view this seemingly innocuous 10-second dance.

The first and most obvious is that what happens with that gift is none of your business. It’s a social payment for being invited and fed in someone’s home, and they may do as they please with it.

The second, and slightly murkier perspective is that you will be drinking the wine that you spent the time and money selecting.

There is debate about what should happen to the wine you bring to a dinner party.

After all, you didn’t buy your favourite gamay so that Jane Doe from pilates class can guzzle it. That’s your wine and she brought a moscato.

The third and possibly most egalitarian option is to advise that you’ve brought a bottle to donate to the party gods, something for the table that you’re happy to share.

All three options are justifiable, but as Orwell will attest; all are equal, but some are more equal than others.

The point is, once that bottle leaves your hands in the fleeting moment at the front door, you shouldn’t expect to see it again.

If you do, that’s a pleasant surprise. If you don’t, accept your host’s decision and crack into whatever has been provided for you.

You can’t know whether the drinks at hand are paired with your meal, if they’re something your host is excited to show you, or if the dinner is a dry affair.

And no matter what you do, do not take the bottle home with you.

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23 things you should never do at a restaurant

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Originally published as Dinner party etiquette: should you drink the wine you bring?