The early DV warning signs this Perth woman wants others to know about

When Natasha Abbott broke up with her partner late last year, she thought she would chalk it up to a bad match and move on.

Instead, she was subjected to weeks of threats, intimidation, harassment, abuse, stalking and damage to her car and house.

Natasha Abbott wants WA to introduce coercive control laws.

Abbott hopes speaking out about her experience could help others in similar situations and wants WA to follow other states and introduce coercive control laws, so domestic violence perpetrators can be held accountable for abusive behaviour before it’s too late.

“We were only together for about a year,” she said.

“I wanted to leave a lot of times, but every time I did he would threaten me. I broke up with him one time and he said he would kill himself.

“He told me that through my daughter’s Snapchat after I tried to block his number.”

Not long after that incident, Abbott realised the relationship was not healthy and, with two children from a previous relationship to protect, she ended things for good.

She told police that her former partner retaliated by trashing her bedroom and car, throwing fake blood up the walls and on her clothes, and filmed himself damaging her car and spray-painting it with abuse.

She also told investigators that he distributed nude photos and videos of her she wasn’t even aware he had taken.

Then the phone calls started.

Natasha Abbott is a victim survivor of domestic violence.

“He would contact me non-stop,” Abbott said.

“I had to have people come stay at my home with me and would sleep on the couch watching the security cameras every night.

“In the end, the person I had staying with me no longer felt comfortable due to the excessiveness of it and the threats and abuse that was coming in and not only to me now but at my friend also.”

Her former partner’s messages were abusive and frightening for the single mum, and even a violence restraining order did little to stop them until Abbott went to police and he was arrested.

Earlier this month, after pleading guilty to stalking, breaching a restraining order and breaching bail, he was handed a two-year conditional suspended imprisonment order.

“It’s not a good enough sentence for what I went through,” Abbott said.

Coercive control laws

Abbott said WA should adopt similar coercive control laws to those introduced in Queensland this month.

On March 6, Queensland became the second jurisdiction in Australia to criminalise coercive control in response to the deaths of Hannah Clarke and her young children four years ago.

NSW is the only other state to have such a law in place.

Clarke’s parents, Sue and Lloyd Clarke, have been campaigning for coercive control to be a standalone offence since her death.

Coercive control is a form of abuse where perpetrators display a pattern of manipulative behaviour designed to intimidate and isolate the victim.

The new offence will carry a maximum penalty of 14 years jail in Queensland.

In WA, domestic violence advocates have been trying to get the same implemented.

In November, the Office of the Commissioner for Victims of Crime proposed a suite of reforms to confront coercive control via a comprehensive report to the WA government.

Key recommendations included amending legislation to enable more effective recognition and response to behaviours such as intimidation, isolation and manipulation.

“Although each person’s experience of coercive control may be different, what is consistent is that people exercising coercive control cause their victims significant pain, fear and trauma,” Commissioner for Victims of Crime Kati Kraszlan said at the time.

“A clear finding from the consultations is that the justice system alone cannot stop coercive control.

“What is needed is a whole-of-government and whole-of-community approach to recognising and responding to these behaviours.”

Domestic violence training and raising awareness

Abbott agreed having a whole-of-community approach to the issue was the best way forward. She has lobbied her local MP to share her experience in the hope it would inspire the new law to be passed.

She is also studying to become a domestic violence advocate to give others in similar situations the care and understanding she received after she took the matter to police.

But she feared not everyone would be able to spot the signs of domestic violence before it was too late, or have the strength and ability to take the matter to police.

“My goal is to have my own business where I go out and meet people to help them either in their own home or, if they have children, in a park,” Abbott said.

“Taking your kids to a police station to report DV is really hard if you have no other support and I want to offer a service where I can give advice and help through the whole process and go with them to court if they wanted.”

Support is available from the National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service at 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).

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