As the days get shorter and the temperature drops, single dating folk go on the hunt for a temporary cuddling buddy: a phenomenon Gen Z have coined “cuffing season”.
Dating and relationships coach Karina Chapman said cuffing season referred to the time of the year before winter set in, in which singles looked for a short-term romance to keep them entertained throughout the colder months.
If you’re over 40, you might need a translator to navigate the modern dating world. Credit: Stephen Kiprillis / Getty
She said it was one of many mind-boggling new dating terms used by Millennials and Gen Z.
“Some of them are great terms to describe a dating-related situation [for which] there is no specific word in the English language,” she said.
“I think that the 40-plus daters (Gen X) are catching on to the terms, but they are still not as commonly used in this age group.”
Chapman said the new lingo usually came from videos trending on social media, with younger daters trying to put names to their different dating experiences, which then caught on.
But she believed online dating had had its heyday, with many singles feeling disillusioned by the sheer number of time wasters and fake profiles.
“Apart from being bamboozled by all the new dating terms thrown around, those new to the dating scene often don’t know what to expect,” she said.
“A lot are opting for in-person meetings, but are out of practice, and don’t know where to look.
“Going to the pub to meet a potential match is out of favour, and many singles are joining running clubs, networking events and doing self-interest courses to meet someone new in a more organic way.”
For the uninitiated like me, here’s your cheat sheet of some of these new terms:
Breadcrumb
Giving someone just enough “crumbs” (of attention or affection) to give them hope for a future relationship without actually wanting one.
Benching
Similar to breadcrumbing, this is like putting someone in the “maybe” box. A bencher is still looking around, but likes you enough to keep spending time with you ... when it’s convenient.
Rostering
Having casual romances with more than one person at a time, a strategy used by some who aren’t ready for a committed relationship.
Submarining
Completely disappearing from your life like a submarine going underwater, only to reappear weeks or months later and act like nothing is wrong.
Ghosting
Completely halting all communication without warning, even if you had planned future outings together.
Slow fading
Similar to ghosting but not as abrupt. Slowly pulling away from you with shorter text messages, taking longer to respond, or making excuses such as always being busy or working, or always with their friends.
Situationship
Similar to friends with benefits. A sexual relationship without the same level of commitment as a regular relationship, and usually without exclusivity.
Orbiting
Someone from your romantic past keeping in contact with you but not via direct communication. They usually follow you on one or more of your social media accounts, and like or comment on your posts.
Cookie jarring
When someone is dating more than one person. They are already pursuing a relationship with someone else, but you are held in reserve (in the cookie jar) just in case things don’t work out with their other romantic interests.
Simp
A man who is submissive or even desperate for your attention or affection, without receiving much or anything in return. Similar to the “golden retriever boyfriend with a black cat girlfriend” recently made popular on TikTok.)
Talking stage
A pair have made contact online and started chatting but haven’t met in person yet.
Cushioning
When someone is dating, but concerned they may break up, so they have in place “cushions” (people they flirt with) to soften the blow should their relationship end.
Catfishing
An older term, but refers to individuals online creating fake profiles to deceive others in emotional and romantic ways.
Roaching
The unpleasant revelation of a partner’s hidden dark side, in the form of numerous past and present love interests, all unaware of each other’s existence.
Haunting
A person who vanished into thin air after a few dates, only to suddenly reappear, haunting someone’s social media. The ghost of dating past, resurrected to remind you of their existence just when you thought you were free.
We hope these examples either made you thankful you are not participating in the dating world, or better armed you for it, just in time for cuffing season. Or perhaps start with an electric blanket and see if that does the trick. At least it won’t ghost you.
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