This was published 2 years ago
Two minutes with Danny Katz: No small talk, just get me my smallgoods
By Danny Katz
Whenever I go to my local deli, the woman at the counter slips me chocolate treats for my kids as a way to engage me in chit-chat. How can I just get my stuff and go? Another deli nearby is mercifully free of small talk, but it smells funny.
R.G., Carnegie, VIC
Open for a chat? Credit: Getty Images
A: Many of us modern shoppers are just like you: we prefer fast, efficient, non-chatty shopping where the transaction is 100 per cent contactless – both in payment and eye direction. But let’s stop for a moment and think about this deli woman, standing behind her counter from morning ’til closing time, bored and tired, keeping herself alert by whipping herself with sticks of Polish cabanossi.
Think about how the longest conversation she’s probably had all day is when a customer was stricken with Luncheon Meat Indecision: “Eight slices of turkey breast, please ... actually, they seem big, make that seven ... no wait, throw in one more.” Think about her being so desperate for basic human interaction she’s willing to pay you with chocolate treats infused with a delicious hint of jarlsberg and sauerkraut. So yes, you could swap to the extra-smelly deli, but all delis are extra-smelly, so if a deli is extra-extra smelly, maybe it’s not a deli you’d want to be swapping to.
That’s why I suggest you stick with this local place and make a tiny effort with the shopkeeper: ask her about her day, comment on the weather, crack a gag about the shaved salami and how there’s nothing worse than getting a mouthful of salami hair … then be on your way. You’ll get a few chocolate treats for your kids and you’ll bring a little smile to her prosciutto-shaped lips, a blush to her taramasalata-pink cheeks, and her eyes will twinkle like kalamata olives, black and pitted, at $28.20 a kilo.
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