“I am old,” declares Ron Burke of Arrawarra. “Actually, very old. Yesterday I had it confirmed in our local Woolworths. My wife said we needed eggs and couldn’t sight them. I asked an employee (obviously less than half my age) where I might find the ‘hen fruit’, and just received a blank stare, followed by ‘what?’”
“This time of year reminds me of a local paper’s coverage of the Christmas parade in a small town,” says Janita Rankin of North Dandalup (WA). “According to the report, much fun was had and ‘the children were now looking forward to a visit from Satan’.”
Allan Kreuiter of Roseville had so much success finding rhymes to “Putin” (C8), that he thought he’d convey his results in verse:
There once was dictator called Putin.
Thought of himself as a modern Rasputin.
His loves unrestrain.
From Yakutsk to Ukraine.
Where went tootin’ and shootin’ and lootin’.
“Putin is a rare surname,” reminds Brad Powe of Gladesville. “Indeed, I can only recall two in Russian history: Vlad and his predecessor Ras.”
“Tom Meakin’s mention of ‘Poo Tin’ reminded me of my first trip to France when I laid eyes on their dog poo bag dispensers called ‘Toutounet’,” writes Peter Miniutti of Ashbury. “It wasn’t the name I found amusing, it was the pictured instructions on how to use a poo bag. It certainly wasn’t rocket science.”
“Yes, Richard Glover, scammers need advice (Herald, December 12),” thinks Nola Tucker of Kiama. “It can be partly successful; after my earlier C8 item, I received better spelt offers, but they still have the wrong bank. Honestly! How about a School for Scammers? They send us their info, and we help them out?”
Janet Fowler of Marrickville takes her opportunity: “Returning on Thursday after volunteering at a large charity shop (C8), I was treated to peak chauvinism, courtesy of Donald Hawes’ contribution. Not only does he write on his wife’s behalf, he sneers at the ‘mental capacity’ of op-shop volunteers; the majority of whom are women. Maybe he’d like to volunteer himself? He might then discover that serving at the counter, pricing, putting out new donations, supplying lunch vouchers, chatting with lonely community members, and organising stock is a full day’s work. If his wife wants the Dewey system and clothes organised by size, the library or Myer might be the place to go.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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