Peter Riley of Penrith notes that “the chief of the Australian Air Force is Air Marshall Stephen Chappell. He is also the son of Greg ‘underarm’ Chappell, the former Australian cricket captain. So, if we ever need to launch a surreptitious attack on New Zealand, it seems like we’ve got the right guy in charge.”
“I need help from Column 8 readers,” implores Ian McNeilly of Darlinghurst. “Where was Gene Pitney when he was Twenty Four Hours from Tulsa? Was he a continent away by plane, a long drive by bus or car or an extremely long walk? I need to know if I am ever going to get a peaceful night’s sleep.”
Speaking of songs, Andrew Bristow of Oatley thinks it’s “interesting to note that the soundtrack to the television commercial for the Kia Sorento is the song Hard To Handle.”
Greg Phillipson of Aranda (ACT) has a scoop on the science of ‘Premium Ice’ (C8): “Regular ice made quickly in commercial freezers contains countless air bubbles, which makes the cubes cloudy. More importantly, when mixed with fizzy drinks it results in a lot of effervescence, quickly leaving your drink flat. Premium ice is likely to be clear with fewer air bubbles and crevices to promote excess fizzing, leaving a more satisfying drink. It takes longer to make clear ice as the water needs to be cooled slowly, hence the ‘premium’ cost.”
Chris Roylance of Paddington (Qld) reckons we’ve made our feather bed, and we’ll have to lie in it with regard to those “appalling bird puns” (C8) while reminding that “fortunately, the tweetment of sick birds is cheep – just put it on the bill. I’ll see myself out.”
The helpful parental dissemination continues: “I also remember ‘our farities’ (C8) from my youth,” says Daphne Ferguson of Baulkham Hills. “Now they have been joined by ‘the consequences’ who arrived via my granddaughter. After having made some bad choices, her mother told her she would ‘just have to live with the consequences’. Said granddaughter was heartbroken. Through gut-wrenching sobs she replied ‘I don’t want to live with the Consequences, I want to live with Mummy and Daddy’. I wonder how many other misunderstood families dwell in this mythical world created by children’s imagination.”
Jennifer Briggs of Kilaben Bay writes: “My grandmother Emily’s answer to ‘what’s for dinner?’ was ‘sheep’s things and onions’. Always made me feel uneasy.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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