Legions of readers are imploring Josephine Piper (C8) to complete her “While shepherds washed their socks by night” jape, the only problem being that each one is different. While the “all seated in a tub” line that follows is universal, that’s where it ends. For example, Anna Beniuk of Mount Saint Thomas has “an angel of the Lord came down/and gave them a bloody good scrub”; Elly Haynes of Orange offered a bit of product placement with “a bar of Sunlight soap came down/and they began to scrub”; while Susan Bradley of Eltham (Vic) offers, “the angel of the Lord came down/and taught them how to scrub”. There are more, but just like “hen fruit” v “cackleberries”, there are too many to fit in.
After the shocking revelations that the prime minister “did some exercise”, Peter Sweeney of Balmain thought the Labor Party should make the most of it and adopt a new slogan: “We’ve got your backhand. We are here to serve you.” But Peter does warn that “tennis Albo is a lingering and painful condition that can affect an entire nation”.
“Is it possible that nuisance callers and scammers (C8) have got their hands on the ‘Do not call’ register and are using it as their contacts list?” wonders Wendy Crew of Lane Cove. “That would explain the increased number of phone interruptions lately.”
More news on our newest C8-er: “As mentioned, my brother Harold (C8) is visiting from Israel and proudly wears his Star of David wherever he goes,” says big sister Rhoda Silber of Manly. “At our local shopping mall he was approached by a policeman who demanded to know why he was wearing … a Manchester United T-shirt! What followed was a warm and friendly debate between Harold and a firm Liverpool supporter.”
“I think Mark Southcott’s synchronised southern cicada breathing (C8) might be the exception, rather than Thirroul,” posits Warren Finnan of West Ryde.
“Living on 40 acres of bushland, we rarely see any of our dog droppings (C8) anywhere,” says Andrew Brown of Bowling Alley Point. “So it was quite a shock when my son was six years old and visited his inner-city-living grandparents for the first time. When we picked him up he just had to ask if they were ‘all right’ because he could not understand why anyone would pick up dog droppings and take them home in a bag.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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