“Cleaning out his garage, a neighbour found a short blonde wig his wife had worn years before,” reports Janita Rankin of North Dandalup (WA). “Naturally, he put it on, getting the expected response from his teenagers. Once the laughs died away and the rubbish was sorted, he went to the tip. On the way home he popped into the servo and the newsagent and waved to a friend at traffic lights. Some hours later he realised he was still wearing the wig. Explained the looks he received along the way.”
“On a house swap holiday in Menton, France we decided to check out the sights,” writes the appropriately named Robert French of Kiama. “High up on a hilltop overlooking the Mediterranean was a cemetery, indeed, a tomb with a view (C8). Of particular note, it was also the resting place of one William Webb Ellis, the inventor of rugby, ‘the game they play in heaven’. He didn’t quite get there but up on that hill, he was close.”
“It is not just views that sell plots and niches,” claims Tom Hanson of Mount Ku-ring-gai. “Years ago while I was sitting in a memorial garden at Northern District Crematorium, a saleslady escorted an elderly couple to a nearby wall. She finished off her sales spiel by pointing to a small brass plaque on the wall and declaring, ‘and by the way, your neighbour would be Banjo Paterson’.”
“My wife and I once stayed at a friend’s home in north London where he ran a small rooming house,” recalls Lance Dover of Pretty Beach. “Thinking we were helping, we did a major wash up (there was no dishwasher). Our host was later aghast that we had thrown away the mass of accumulated dripping (C8) from under the grill as one of the tenants regarded it as a gourmet topping for his toast.”
“Whilst tales of goose fat, fried bread, dripping and lard may evoke fond memories in some, I’m never, ever attempting to again eat breakfast whilst reading C8! Yours biliously, Paul Koff of Glenhaven.”
Andrew Cohen of Glebe has an explanation regarding Viv McKenzie’s tomato sandwich dilemma (C8): “The longer the salt is resting on a tomato the yummier it is. One tends to eat one’s own immediately so I always slice and salt the tomato before any other prep. Hence, a half-hour-old sanga prepared with love is aged to perfection.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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