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Avoiding candidates like the plague

Lesley Schumacher of Keiraville says that “after reading Donald Trump’s claim that he is ‘the father of IVF’, I hope I haven’t misinterpreted the article, but I’m becoming increasingly concerned that there may be a Trump Mini-Me overpopulation circulating among us!”

“Surprised to hear the Republican presidential candidate boasting that he had ‘gone 48 days without arrest’,” notes Don Bain of Port Macquarie. “Even my mate Bruce has gone longer than that!”

“With all this talk of unlikely car manufacturers such as Lightburn (C8), I remember laughing when I first heard of a Mazda car, back in the ’60s,” writes James McKinnon of Nabiac. “Having always associated Mazda with lightbulbs, I equated it to driving around in an Osram. Mind you, there was a car and a motorcycle made by Singer.”

“I read that Lamborghini has just brought out a new model called the Urus,” notes James Wall of Sutton Forest. “I’m wondering if they plan to release a tradie version called the Uterus.”

“George Manojlovic’s Capella (C8) may have been kept in tune, but a car I bought in the ’80s was far more complex,” claims Paul Koff of Glenhaven. “It was, of course, a Sonata.”

“On a recent trip to the States, I noticed all banknotes, from $1 to $100, are the same size and colour,” writes Kerry Kyriacou of Strathfield. “No tactile features to aid the visually impaired, either. I wonder when the Yanks will catch up with us?”

Tony Woodruff of Blaxland has another American observation: “A friend in the US posted his weight loss on his socials in kilograms, with the inevitable response ‘What’s a kg?‘. A knowledgeable person replied ‘It’s about 2.2 bullets per square child in freedom units’.”

“I’m certain that I’m one of many struck by the near nominative determinism of Benjamin Driver discussing road design in Monday’s Herald,” says Steve Hulbert of West Kempsey. “Although his misgivings about road design suggest that a surname of Walker might have been more appropriate.”

The Herald’s coverage of a Royal church service had Christine Tracey of Worrowing Heights “fascinated” by the sartorial agility of the couple: “Page one: Charles in beige, Camilla in yellow; Page four: Charles in grey, Camilla in blue and Page five: Charles MIA, Camilla in green. I feel sympathy for their dressers and, of course, the handlers of their luggage. Thank goodness it’s a brief visit.”

Column8@smh.com.au

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Original URL: https://www.watoday.com.au/national/nsw/avoiding-candidates-like-the-plague-20241021-p5kjwu.html