I’m a little hard of hearing and like the TV turned up quite loud, even when I’m watching a Scandinavian series on SBS with subtitles. My wife says I’m foolish. Is she right?

T.J., Battery Point, TAS

A: When you say Scandinavian, subtitled SBS shows, I’m assuming you mean those grisly crime thrillers that always seem to feature a pair of mismatched cops in bad knitwear trying to solve the murder of an immigrant sex-worker whose head has been found on a piece of public infrastructure in a bleak, wintry Nordic country while the rest of her has been found on a totally different piece of public infrastructure in an even bleaker and more wintry Nordic country. Yeah, always such pleasant, relaxing viewing just before bed.

Personally, I’m no fan of these shows, but my wife loves them and she also turns the volume up loud – not because she’s hard of hearing, but to drown out my snarky, running commentary: “Oooooo, shot in the back of the head, that’s gotta hurt ... yeah, smart, leave your bedroom curtains open at night, always a good idea ...”

I’m sure you’re not foolish. You probably just want the volume up so you can hear a bit of that eerie Scandi soundscape: the music score, composed entirely by running teeth up and down barbed wire. Or the sound-effect of a rusty awl being plunged into soft neck tissue.

Maybe you’re just interested in learning Scandinavian languages and enjoy comparing the subtitles with the spoken dialogue – so far you’ve learnt that tack means “thank you” and mitt barn brinner means “my baby is on fire”.

Or perhaps your wife is a snarky show-ruiner like me, and you’re just trying to drown out her hilariously witty commentary: “Jump-scare coming in 3, 2, 1 ... no, wait, 3, 2, 1 ... no, this time for sure, 3, 2, 1!”

guru@goodweekend.com.au

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