This was published 3 years ago
My wife didn’t notice my haircut. Should I feel cut up about it?
My wife failed to notice that I got a haircut even though a considerable amount of my hair was left on the floor of the salon. Should I take offence?
R.L., Warrnambool, Vic
A: When couples first get together, they can’t take their eyes off each other. They notice everything: “Wow, you got a haircut! Looks great!” ; “Ooooh, you bought new shoes! Love ’em!” ; “Hey, is that a different pink toenail polish? Yesterday was Cactus Coral, but today … is that Dusty Peach? Either way, sexy, sexy toes!”
But after a few years together, couples get more complacent, less attentive and stop making direct eye contact. If you get a new haircut, your wife’s not looking at your hair: she’s looking over your shoulder at the remote control you just left on the couch, even though she’s told you a thousand times to leave it beside the TV. In fact, you could walk into your home with a new head grafted on your neck and your partner probably wouldn’t notice: “Hey, how was your day? Your mum called. Oh, and where’s the remote? Can’t find it. That’s why I always leave it beside the TV. Just saying.”
Yes, it hurts not to be noticed, which is why long-term-relationshippers need to work harder to make their presence felt: they must demand attention. You should’ve entered your home shouting, “I got a new haircut!!!!” , waving a lit sparkler with one hand, tooting an airhorn with the other.
The good news is, when a couple have been together a really long time, a biological miracle kicks in: you both get blinder, deafer and more hunched over, so you wouldn’t know if your partner got a haircut, if they had hair or even if they were in the room with you. It keeps couples together: beauty is in the rapidly deteriorating eye of the beholder.
To read more from Good Weekend magazine, visit our page at The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age and Brisbane Times.
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Danny Katz is a columnist for The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald. He writes the Modern Guru column in the Good Weekend magazine. He is also the author of the books Spit the Dummy, Dork Geek Jew and the Little Lunch series for kids.
