Can’t decide what to have for dinner? It’s not your fault

What’s for dinner? What should we watch? What will I wear today? Life is full of choices, big and small. Usually, it’s what the brain does best: making decisions automatically, sometimes even before we are aware of it.

So why do some decisions, especially little ones, feel impossible to make? Experts explain why being asked to choose what you want for dinner can be difficult to answer.

Can you have too much of a good thing?Credit: Getty Images

Why are the small decisions so hard?

Life-altering decisions take time and research, but small, everyday choices can be just as difficult to navigate. RMIT senior marketing lecturer and consumer psychology researcher Janneke Blijlevens calls these “inconsequential decisions” and says they can be particularly troublesome.

One reason is what psychologists call “decision paralysis” or “choice overload” – a phenomenon that occurs when the options are many.

“Choice overload happens when the choices you have in front of you are so complex [that] you can’t weigh up everything,” says Blijlevens. She recently experienced choice overload when attempting to switch energy providers.

“I’m trying to find all the different retailers, and discounts, trying to understand my usage and compare numbers. I usually end up abandoning it,” she says.

The concept of choice overload was popularised by American psychologist Barry Schwartz in his 2004 book The Paradox of Choice. He wrote: “Learning to choose is hard. Learning to choose well is harder. And learning to choose well in a world of unlimited possibilities is harder still, perhaps too hard.”

Having all the information at our fingertips is a contributing factor, Blijlevens says. With unlimited access on our phones and devices to various options, it can feel impossible to make the “right” decision.

APS chief executive Zena Burgess says a routine or some predictability in your day can ease decision-making fatigue.Credit: Getty Images

Choice overload and the commonly used term “decision fatigue” may have similar outcomes, but they cut different paths through indecision. Choice overload occurs when the number of options is too large; decision fatigue comes from the number of decisions made.

Australian Psychology Society chief executive Dr Zena Burgess says decision fatigue owes to high levels of stress and anxiety in everyday life which leave us less equipped to make decisions.

“Decision fatigue often shows itself with smaller decisions,” Burgess says. “Fatigue can build up over time ...  Some signs might include being more irritable and having trouble processing information.”

She says it’s possible to ease decision-making fatigue by creating a routine for your day, or including some predictability. For example, following a weekly meal plan removes the daily task of choosing what to eat.

Just do it

Blijlevens says that better decision-making in the event of choice overload can be as simple as just doing it. Often, she says, we get in our own way.

“We all kind of go: ‘uh, I’m done for today, I can’t make any more decisions’. But if I were to give you a decision to make on something that you’re passionate about, then I’m sure you’d happily do it,” she says.

Still can’t decide? Blijlevens recommends these quick tips:

• Prioritise: Make difficult decisions earlier in the day, after a good night’s sleep, when you’re more energised.
• Aim for “good enough”: When making inconsequential decisions, you don’t need to make a perfect choice; just make it good enough. This is called “satisfying the decision”.
• Reduce the choice volume: “Rely on what your gut is telling you, because the things we often do are habits which form because they have been rewarding in the past,” Blijlevens says.
• Randomise: Close your eyes and point. Pick a number. Flip a coin.
• Delegate: “If you are at a restaurant with a huge menu, pick the same as someone else. We always want to choose something different from another person, but nothing will happen if you pick the same thing.”
• One reason is enough: Don’t bother with the pros and cons list, go with the first reason that comes to mind.
• Reduce your decisions: “Only give yourself two choices for breakfast; ask AI to help you schedule or plan; or create a capsule wardrobe.”
• Sleep on it: Take a shower. Exercise. Channel that unconscious decision-making power.

What about bigger life decisions?

Decisions with larger consequences can be more challenging, particularly if the individual feels as if they are going against what is expected or if the outcome could be perceived as a loss to themselves or others, Burgess says.

If the process is causing emotional discomfort, Burgess recommends talking to a psychologist.

“Psychologists are well placed to help people navigate the emotional complexities of difficult decisions,” she says.

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