Jari Wise’s grieving mother fights for changes to help recognise male victims
Jari Wise’s ashes sit next to his mother’s bedside, more than a year after he was struck dead on a Huonville roadside. She says “he’s not at rest yet” – not until she achieves her fight for male victims. HER STORY >>
Police & Courts
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- Melissa Oates jailed over road death of boyfriend Jari Wise
- Melissa Oates pleads guilty to dangerous driving after Jari Wise’s death
JARI Wise’s ashes sit patiently beside his mother’s bed.
More than a year after the shy, gentle and “absolutely beautiful” 26-year-old was struck dead on a Huonville roadside, his mother Faith Tkalac says she “cannot let him go anywhere yet”.
“And I don’t feel that he’s at rest yet,” she said.
She says she is consumed by a determination that keeps her up at night – to fight for changes in how the legal system deals with male victims.
‘I want to create Jari’s law ... mandatory sentencing for false allegations. Unfortunately you’re guilty until proven innocent if you’re a man’ – Jari Wise’s mother Faith Tkalac
In April, Jari’s on-again, off-again partner Melissa Oates was jailed by the Supreme Court of Tasmania for eight months after pleading guilty to charges over the incident that claimed his life on February 28 last year.
Oates was not held legally responsible for causing Jari’s death, but pleaded guilty to dangerous driving, drink-driving and failing to stop and assist in an accident.
On the night in question, Oates was drink-driving, wasn’t wearing her glasses, and was speeding at 110km/h.
Now that Oates’s criminal matters have been dealt with by the courts, Jari’s family is finally free to speak to the media about their ordeal.
Ms Tkalac, who had a pendant made out of some of Jari’s ashes so she can wear it close to her heart, had to face every mother’s worst nightmare when police knocked on her door in the middle of the night.
She said since that night, she’s had to face the reality of a system that doesn’t believe men can be victims too.
Ms Tkalac said Jari had a passionate relationship with Oates and that they were deeply in love and shared a child together.
But she said their relationship became “toxic” and aspects of the union “broke his heart”.
“I want to create Jari’s law. This is my goal in life now, this is what’s keeping me going,” she said.
“It will be mandatory sentencing for false allegations. That hasn’t got so much to do with my baby’s case … but unfortunately you’re guilty until proven innocent if you’re a man.”
Ms Tkalac said she had received more than 6000 signatures in three days on a change.org petition, and had since tabled an official version with parliament.
She also said she was planning to hold a Men Matter rally in Hobart for Father’s Day.
“Our men need to be heard,” she said.
“Our men are suffering in silence.”
Jari’s death has rocked the Huon Valley community.
He died on Wilmot Road outside Huonville High School – where he was once a student himself.
A permanent memorial, maintained by the community, has been set up outside the school with flowers, pictures, gifts of his favourite hangover foods such as tinned spaghetti, and mementos celebrating Jari’s Aboriginal heritage.
Ms Tkalac said other young men similar to Jari’s age could often be seen sitting at the memorial at night, having a beer with their departed friend.
Nearby, at the precise spot where he died, a permanent love heart has been spray-painted in yellow, with three kiss-crosses nearby to represent Ms Tkalac’s three other children.
“They were Jari’s best friends. We do spend a lot of time crying, but we also spend a lot of time laughing,” she said.
“My heart is broken. I don’t want any other mums to feel this broken heart. Jari’s next to my bed, I just cannot let him go anywhere yet.”
Everybody appearing at Hobart Magistrates Court, Wednesday, July 31
Here is a list of people appearing at Hobart Magistrates Court on July 31.
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