AFLW player Tayla Harris on the ‘normal blokes’ who turned out to be trolls
AFLW player Tayla Harris was subjected to appalling online abuse but the people behind it aren’t who you may expect.
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In 2019, I was thrust into the spotlight after some pretty crude, confronting and blatantly sexist things were said about Michael Willson’s now celebrated photo of me kicking a footy.
Despite what you might expect, most of the trolls weren’t from fake accounts. I looked through some of their profiles and saw they were mostly normal blokes – smiling in pictures with children, women, colleagues and friends.
That occurred to me as a bit odd. These guys weren’t monsters, they were somebody’s father, husband, partner and mate.
I am the first one to admit that I love technology. My Instagram feed is my little community where I connect with my followers to share my sporting achievements, what I do off the field and out of the ring, and the causes I’m passionate about.
The beast that is social media, on one hand makes positively connecting with friends and followers feel real and easy, but it also brings with it some negativity that has the potential to cause serious harm.
When I was subjected to relentless online abuse about the pic of me kicking a footy, I was struck by how easy it was to leave a comment without fear of repercussion and with the comfort of anonymity.
I know those trolls wouldn’t have had the guts to come up to say what they said to my face, so why did they think it was okay to say online?
It seems like a slippery slope. If people think making a sexist comment is OK, what else do they think is OK? Abusive direct messages? And how does the bloke who makes belittling comments online treat the women in his life offline? His friends, colleagues and partner?
As an ambassador for Our Watch, I have learnt that these disrespectful attitudes don’t occur in a vacuum.
Disrespect and online abuse comes in many different forms including derogatory text messages or calls, sharing intimate images without consent, or the one I experienced, where negative things were posted about me for just doing my job.
The nasty and sexist online abuse I copped that sexualised my body and belittled my athleticism, not only had profound consequences for me and my loved ones, but it also sent a message to girls and young women that they’re not welcome on the field.
It is a message that continues to box women and girls out of playing traditionally male dominated sports and stops them from speaking out, participating and becoming leaders.
It also sends a message to boys and young men, that this is an OK way to treat women.
This isn’t about simply taking a few harsh comments on the chin, dusting yourself off and getting on with it, it is about recognising and stopping disrespect towards women because it can have significant consequences.
Despite the destruction the abuse caused, in some ways I am grateful for the experience.
Without it I wouldn’t have understood how gender inequality drives violence against women, and I wouldn’t be dedicating my time, energy and passion both inside and outside of sport to preventing it.
I now am very aware of the online abuse that women cop, day-in and day-out. Especially those who are scrutinised by the public such as women in sport, women athletes and women in media.
I am hopeful that we are starting to implement the structural changes needed to stamp out online bullying and abuse, and to create a more gender equal world.
And to be honest if I can help just one young girl feel confident to kick the footy or feel safe online, I’ve already won.
Tayla Harris is AFLW player, an Our Watch ambassador and the Victorian Young Person of the Year 2020
Originally published as AFLW player Tayla Harris on the ‘normal blokes’ who turned out to be trolls
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