Samantha X: My sobriety is more shocking to people than my escorting

There was a time when my inbox was full of unsolicited pictures, marriage proposals and intrigue about my job as an escort. But that has all changed since I stopped drinking, writes Samantha X.

There was a time, I wistfully recall, when my inbox was full of unsolicited dick pics, marriage proposals and intrigue about my job as an escort.

Did I kiss? (Do I have to?)

What was my strangest request? (Not as exciting as you think).

What was the first time like? (We talked about Delta Goodrem).

Have you ever fallen in love with a client? (Yes and it ended up in court).

Will you marry me? (No – I prefer lace gloves to oven gloves thank you very much) and so on.

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My job as an escort seems so thrilling to other people, yet often deathly dull to me. A day in my office is like a day in your office. Jolly good fun sometimes, terribly tiresome at others, you’re sick of talking about it to others, you need lots of time off, but you meet some wonderful friends and make connections for life. Oh, and it pays the bills.

Escorting allows your to meet wonderful friends and make connections for life. Picture: Glenn Hampson

It didn’t seem to matter how many times I talked about escorting in the media or in my books (Hooked and Back On Top), it was never enough. What do men think? What do men want? What kind of women become escorts? Can you help me be an escort?

They couldn’t get enough of my salacious sexy secrets.

And then something quite serious happened. I got sober.

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Almost a year ago, I hit my rock bottom. My habits had progressed very, very quickly and I went from party fun girl to a very sad girl. I knew in the pit of my stomach if I didn’t get sober, I would be found dead in the very same hotels I used to kick off the Louboutins and clink cold champagne flutes with charming strangers.

Because I am an open book (literally), I chronicled my sober journey on social media. And then the intrigue shifted. No longer did people care about the escorting and ‘what men want’ (to watch sport in peace, by the way). They were desperate for knowledge on sobriety, addiction, alcoholism, how to get help, where to get help, do I think they have a problem, is their boyfriend an alcoholic and so on.

More and more people are opting for a sober lifestyle. Picture: iStock

In fact, I would go so far as to say I get far more DMs now on sobriety than I ever did on escorting. Far more. And it gives me so much joy to answer them.

An overwhelming number of you are struggling secretly with alcohol and drugs. Mums, dads, young women, young men, doctors, lawyers, tradies, you name it. Addiction does not give a hoot what you do for work, how much money you have, or what you look like.

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Also, you are really unsure about whether you have a problem (which means you probably do). Some of you tell me you can’t be an alcoholic because you don’t drink every day. You don’t need to drink every day to have a problem – I certainly didn’t. I didn’t go to rehab either. But my life was becoming unmanageable, will power wasn’t working and my behaviour was unpredictable at best (you don’t want to know what it was like at worst). Friends were concerned, family members were worried and the last person to realise anything was wrong was of course: me.

If you are in any doubt as to whether you have a problem with drinking, try stopping.

So often you are worried about what people will think about you going sober. Picture: Glenn Hampson

You are also worried about ‘what people will think’ about you going sober; work colleagues, business associates, mates, your partner …

Here’s the question. Are those people there the next few days when you feel down, dark and suicidal? Are those people holding your hair when you’re puking in the toilet? Are they there when you’ve had to cancel work, lose money, people and things because of your drunken behaviour?

Probably not.

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I’ve never worried too much about what people think. The reason being, having spent hours and hours alone talking to people, I know how we are all battling some kind of demon. Whether it’s a traumatic childhood, nasty divorces, addictions, abuse at home, crippling anxiety – we all have something. Show me someone who has got through life unscathed and I say they haven’t lived. People don’t care about what you do as much as you think they do, believe me.

While I’m no expert on sobriety (I was never really an expert on escorting either), it gives me so much joy to help you. So please, fill my inbox with your questions on sobriety. I never saw a dick pic I liked anyway.

Samantha X is an author and columnist.

Originally published as Samantha X: My sobriety is more shocking to people than my escorting