“My reaction was to want to vomit”: The moment Natalie’s life changed forever

20 years ago Natalie Walker’s life fell apart when she found out her husband’s horrific, dark secret. Now support for people like her will be available to Tasmanians.

Natalie Walker was living a normal life in 2002, married to her high school sweetheart who she thought she knew better than anyone.

But her ex-husband had a dark secret, one he’d managed to hide from his family while he played the role of a loving husband.

“My ex-husband 20 years ago was never charged but I discovered evidence he was involved with child abuse material,” Ms Walker said.

“It was deeply shocking there was this heinous offending side of him.

“Back in 2002 there was no where to go to for support, most of us hadn’t event heard of child abuse material.”

Two years later a police operation resulted in hundreds of men being charged for similar crimes.

“My reaction was to want to vomit and run out of the room,” Ms Walker said.

When media started naming one of the wives of the men charged, though she wasn’t a suspect, Ms Walker decided there needed to be support for the non-offending partners and families.

“Because child abuse material was so foreign, no one noticed when that wife was named.”

“In 2004 we were already charging hundreds of men with that operation … that’s a lot of non offending partners and affected family members left in the wake of this crime.”

PartnerSpeak founder Natalie Walker. Pic: Supplied.

Ms Walker said offending related to child abuse material had increased by 1500 per cent in the last 15 years.

“They received 35,000 actionable reports last year, in part because there was a massive increase in offending during the pandemic,” she said.

Ms Walker said 50 per cent of perpetrators had children and 60 per cent had a partner.

“16 plain clothes detectives often turn up on a family home, an intimate partner has no idea what’s going on,” Ms Walker said.

“It’s not everybody’s story, but it’s a common one.

Ms Walker said shame was a common feeling among family members.

“The partners who, like me, are asking themselves how did they not know,” she said.

“It’s a question reinforced by everyone else, ‘but you’ve been living with him, how could you not have known something’.

“In domestic violence it’s why didn’t she leave, in our space, it’s how did they not know?

“The perpetrator has built his whole life around fooling other people to think he’s a good guy.”

Ms Walker’s organisation Partner Speak is now available to Tasmanians, through its peer support line and forum.

“We’ll be working with law enforcement in Tasmania to share with them the experiences of affected family members.”

The organisation also works with parents of young offenders.

Anyone who requires support can contact the peer line on 1300590589 or they can visit partnerspeak.org.au

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