My sister is anti-vaxx, so when can my newborn visit her kids?

"I want to make sure my baby is somewhat protected before being exposed, because heaven forbid something happen- I’d never be able to forgive myself," the worried mum confesses.

Nama Winston

3 min read

May 25, 2023 - 2:58PM

The woman's husband is very concerned. Source: iStock

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One of the many challenges of parenthood is remaining friends with people whose parenting styles differ strongly to yours.

It's not always easy, and it's even harder when they're your family, whom you love.

For example, one expectant mum this week has asked the internet what she should do about her anti-vaxx sister. In particular, when would be 'safe' to take her newborn over to meet the un-vaxxed cousins?

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"My kid will be getting them all"

Writing on Reddit, the woman says:

"My sister is 10 years older than me and herself and her three kids are full anti-vax. I’m not looking for a discussion about it, I don’t care if that’s how she chooses to run her family, but I’m my own separate person.

"This is our first baby and vaccines have recently started coming up. I always wanted my sister and her kids present during birth and right after but I hadn’t thought about this.

"My husband is extremely uncomfortable with them being around the baby until she has the most important vaccines [at six months], whichever those are deemed."

Now that she has discussed the issue with her husband, she sees the potential problem.

"I want to make sure my baby is somewhat protected before being exposed to them because heaven forbid something happen- I’d never be able to forgive myself.

"How long do you think is appropriate for the 'most important vaccines'? My kid will be getting them all, I just mean the most important statistically when she’s the tiniest.

"Six months sounds like a long time for me anyways and she’d already be going out at that age in public where I can’t control who's vaccinated.

"I would never want to set a limit of a year or two, I could never do that to my sister, and I wouldn’t do that to my child… This is just my first baby and I haven’t been able to even meet with a pediatrician yet but I’m in my third trimester."

The woman's husband is very concerned. Source: iStock

"Your sister's feelings don't count"

The comments thread was full of support for the expectant mum, and offered some excellent advice.

"Your sister's feelings don't mean anything when it comes to the health of your child," wrote one. "If she only gets facetime calls for a year it's her own doing. Don't feel guilty for prioritising your child’s health. Thats what a good parent does."

Added another, "This is your first big lesson as a parent - putting your child health over the feelings of your family. Your child will not remember not meeting your family the first year of their life. However they will remember lifelong health effects from a preventable disease."

One woman shared her experience: "My niece contracted measles from a relative just before she was old enough for the measles vaccine.

"She spent a week in ICU before moving to a regular room for another week- at 12 months old, she almost died from a measles infection.

"If it were me, I'd wait until baby got the 12-month vaccinations for a visit with your sister and children."

Many commenters said there was a big difference between being in public, and being in closed setting where the baby would be touched and held closely.

This person noted, "While you may be 'out and about', random strangers aren’t holding your baby and kissing it and such. Just something to consider."

And this one agreed: "I wouldn’t be willingly putting my child in close contact with an unvaccinated person until over a year old. The reality is distant/second-hand contact in the store is not the same as having someone all around, touching, kissing your child."

What would you do? Tell us in the comments on Facebook!

This story was updated in September 2023.