My mum announced our pregnancy, but we'd already lost the baby

"I felt dead inside so I commented to let her know we lost the baby... then she called me," the man explains. Please note this story contains sensitive topics.

People are rallying around a dad who took to the 'AITA' forum to share an unfortunate situation involving his mother prematurely announcing his and his wife's pregnancy on social media.

The poster explained that they had told her to keep it on the down-low for the time being, as it was still early in the pregnancy. 

But the mum couldn't contain her excitement about becoming a grandma, taking to Facebook to share the news two weeks later. 

By that point, they had already lost the baby.

He decided to publicly shame his mum on her post but is now second-guessing his hasty response. 

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"We hadn't told her yet"

"My wife was pregnant with our first child. We weren't telling anyone yet because it was early," the man begins his post.

His mum was over at their house and noticed some obvious clues of pregnancy, so asked about it and they were honest. 

The couple then asked her to respect their wishes and not tell people as it was early in the pregnancy, and they wanted time to themselves to absorb it.

Well, the mum lasted two weeks before she started posting about becoming a grandmother on her social media.

"We hadn't told her yet we lost the baby," he explains.  

The OP said he was "feeling dead inside" when he saw her post so commented, "Elise miscarried a week ago".

"I guess it took about an hour for my mum to see the comment and delete her post," he says. "We have been getting condolences, which we don't want, and my mum has been getting crapped on by friends and family for being so insensitive."

The mum is also mad at her son for not telling her they had lost "her grandchild." 

"She is crying, and my dad says that I have every right to be upset but that I could have been nicer."

Image: IStock

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"She shared something that isn't hers to share"

"What is the nicer way of saying 'my wife had a miscarriage'?" the top comment with 19k likes read.

"I think the dad meant that he could’ve messaged privately instead of publicly," replied someone else.

Then this person summarised the situation like this: "Your mum, against your wishes, started posting publicly your private information, so, you commented that private information was no longer a reality.

"She pooped all over your wishes, apparently had no idea what happened because she didn't call to follow up or check up on you or your wife, and in a moment of anger, you told her, very tactfully, I might add, that she shared that information prematurely.

"I wouldn't share any information with her ever - she's completely breached every ounce of trust I have in her and I don't know her. She shared something that isn't hers to share. I'm so sorry for your loss and I wouldn't blame you for going low-contact for a while while you recover."

Then a fourth replied, "Your mum disregarded your wishes. She violated your privacy. When SHE decided SHE wanted everyone to know SHE told YOUR information. Your private information. She doesn’t get to decide what you share and when.

"Explain to her from now on your private life is private from her until you are ready for everyone else to find out… at which point she will find out when everyone does. She doesn’t get to decide when and how you grieve."

"WTF. Your mum has issues"

Someone else took issue with the statement, "…We had lost her grandchild."

They added, "WTF? Your mum has issues."

"Imagine if you hadn't posted that, you and your wife would have gotten so many congratulations which would have been super sensitive, given the situation," said another. 

"Your mother broke your trust and is now playing the victim. You did not need to be nicer, you needed your family to support you - and instead, they made it about themselves," a different reader concluded. 

Originally published as My mum announced our pregnancy, but we'd already lost the baby