My MIL is demanding I stop kissing my own baby in front of her

"Apparently I'm breaking the 'rules'... but the rules don't actually apply to me!"

It's fairly-well established by now that kissing an unvaccinated (or even vaccinated) baby on the face can be a risky thing in terms of germs and transferring illnesses.

But that doesn't mean everyone accepts... science.

For example, one new mum has shared this week that she's struggling with her mother-in-law, who's giving her a hard time about the 'kissing rule' she's imposed on the family.

And by struggling we mean the MIL has accused her daughter-in-law of a harsh double standard.

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"Did your doctor update the rules?"

The new mum explains her situation in a parenting forum:

"My husband and I have a six-week-old daughter. She's our first baby and the first grandchild in both of our families.

"We were advised by our pediatrician to not allow anyone besides ourselves to kiss our baby for the first 8-12 weeks minimum. This has been communicated to both of our families who have been respectful of this (as well as our other boundaries/rules) despite a little bit of grumbling about it from his side."

But unfortunately, that acceptance didn't last long.

"Last weekend we were over at my in-laws' house and I had just finished breastfeeding my daughter, so she was all sleepy. I kissed her forehead before settling her to nap on my chest.

"My MIL noticed and immediately remarked on it in a super passive-aggressive manner: 'Oh, I'm so glad that we're able to kiss [baby] now! Did your pediatrician update the rules?'

"She then accused me of violating the rules by kissing my own baby. I told her that the recommendation was that no one besides myself and my husband kiss our daughter, and she argued and heavily implied that I was being dishonest because I'd previously said 'nobody can kiss the baby' rather than "nobody but husband and I can kiss the baby."

Eventually, the MIL called the mum a "hypocrite" and stormed out of the room. Although she did attempt a weak apology later, she had an extraordinary request:

"She asked me if I would avoid kissing my baby in front of her until she's allowed to do so as well, because it's upsetting to see me doing that and knowing that she can't."

Naturally, the mum said no. 

"I am personally not going to stop kissing my own baby for the sake of her feelings. MIL is calling me disrespectful and a hypocrite and has gotten SIL on board with this as well. AITA?"

Image: iStock

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"Will she ask you to stop breastfeeding in front of her since she doesn't get to?"

The comments on the post were overwhelmingly in support of the new mum.

"What's next, is she going to ask you to stop breastfeeding in front of her since she doesn't get to do it too? She needs to back off," wrote one.

Another advised, "In all honesty, your spouse needs to deal with this. The rule should always always be: 'your parent, your problem' (excepting those handful of situations where the in-laws like the spouse more than their own kid)."

And this supporter said, "You don't have a baby kissing problem, you have a mother-in-law problem."

Finally, this mum added in agreement: "This is absurd. You need to just limit contact with these nut jobs until your baby has had her immunizations. Your husband needs to step up here and deal with his relatives."

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This article was updated in September 2024. 

Originally published as My MIL is demanding I stop kissing my own baby in front of her