Mum's 'heartbreaking' airplane act reveals darker truth about motherhood

You can only imagine the worry she felt in the weeks leading up to boarding that plane. 

A flight is probably the last place you’d expect to find peace and quiet.

So why do we expect it from babies?

After the bedtime routine, during a Tik Tok scroll, I came across a video of a man on a plane. 

My heart broke.

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She shouldn't have felt the need to do this

Elliot was showing off a surprise gift a fellow passenger had handed him ahead of the journey to his 1.5 million followers.

“I want to cry. A mum with her newborn in front of me on the plane gave me this,” he wrote across the screen. 

He showed his viewers what this mum had handed out to the passengers around her—a lolly bag.

"She's already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone," the passenger shared.

Inside were chocolates, treats, a pair of earplugs, and a note. 

The note read: 

“It’s my first flight! I made a deal to be on my best behaviour - but I can’t make any guarantees! I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable! Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

While the gesture was incredibly thoughtful, it was heartbreaking that this mother felt she needed to do this. 

Since when did motherhood mean apologising for babies simply being babies?

There's already enough to stress about ahead of travelling with a baby. 

Packing, managing the pram, navigating nappy changes and feeds and keeping them settled. 

The fact this mother felt the need to add one more thing - just to accomodate to grown adults in case they lacked empathy - is truly sad.  

You can only imagine the worry she felt in the weeks leading up to boarding that plane.

Social media constantly pushes the idea that babies crying on planes is something we should prevent—an impossible expectation. 

Image: TikTok/callmebelly

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"You try your best"

The comments on Elliot’s video echoed my thoughts.

“No mum should be apologising. Adults can control their emotions, babies cannot,” one person commented. 

“Dear new parents: no you don't have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist and be. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.” another sympathised. 

“This makes me feel so bad that mothers are shamed into doing this. Do people no longer have compassion or empathy?” a third asked. 

I can promise you—no parent is booking a long-haul flight just so their baby can cry on it. 

Especially when you're already deep in the trenches of the newborn experience.  

And what message does this send to our slightly older kids?

Are we embarrassed by their natural behaviour? 

We’re constantly told that expressing emotions is healthy and important for mental wellbeing.  

Children are still learning how to communicate, and in those early years, they do it through crying, tantrums, and the noises that sometimes irritate the adults around them.

But that’s just part of their development.

Apologising for it on their behalf tells them we’re ashamed of them.

That’s simply not fair.

Elliot later shared a follow-up video thanking the mum for the bag of goodies. 

He also offered her reassurance she probably didn’t realise she needed. 

“I would be afraid to travel or anything like that,” he told her.

“My parents had me on flights when I was a baby, and I used to cry all the time.”   

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That kind of understanding is exactly what needs to board the flight with you if you find yourself sitting near a mother and baby.

I promise you—no one is more stressed about a crying baby on that flight than the baby’s mum. 

So next time you step onto a plane and see a mother cradling her crying child, put your frustration aside. Consider how overstimulated she must feel.

Swap the eye roll for empathy—because no one is trying harder than that mum.

Originally published as Mum's 'heartbreaking' airplane act reveals darker truth about motherhood