‘My five-year-old won’t acknowledge her dad at all’

“My husband is terrific, loving… but she won’t play with him, speak to him or even look at him. I don’t know what’s wrong,” the worried mum reveals.

Ella considers her family fairly standard: she and her husband Colin are together, and they have two children, a girl and a boy.

As far as she knows, nothing has ever troubled her kids, and her partner is loving towards her and the children.

And yet, her daughter Maeve won’t play with her dad let alone speak to him or even look at him.

“He is a terrific, loving father and tries to get her to play with him, let him read her bedtime stories, get things for her when she asks me and I’m busy,” the mum said.

“She will walk straight past him and come to me. Even when he tells her he can help her.

“She doesn’t acknowledge him when he tries to talk to her, I have to force him to answer him when he asks her a question, like ‘How was school, ‘What do you want to eat?’, ‘Did you do anything fun today?’.”

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The little girl wouldn't even speak to her dad. Photo: iStock

Five-year-old ignores dad

Ella said that Colin worked full time and so she spent more time with the kids, but that still didn’t explain how cold Maeve was.

“He does not show favouritism with the kids. When we try to switch (I get my son to sleep and he gets my daughter to sleep), she refuses any help from him and will sit in her room alone until I’m done with my son. He’ll tell my husband to leave her alone if he tries to keep her company.”

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Ella was frustrated and could see how hurt Colin was. The behaviour had been going on for a year and the mum-of-two was at a loss.

Most people thought more time spent together was the solution.

“It sounds like you need to be gone more often and leave them to their own devices,” one person said. “Maybe pick a hobby that has you out of the house at bedtime once a week, and make it clear to her you won’t see her until morning.

“Right now if she waits, you’ll come to ‘rescue’ her from having to deal with dad.”

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“When my kids were that age they were the same,” said another person. “Both favoured their mother… we agreed to switch each day. You can switch every day as the rule. If she wants to sit alone in her room instead rather than her dad helping her, then she’ll do her stuff alone, but you shouldn’t replace her father on his turn.”

“Barring trauma or altercations, which you seem to be saying are not an issue here, kids usually develop preferences based on meaningful time spent together,” said a third. “If it’s your husband’s turn to read to her, do not swap. It will be harder at first, but they will work through it together. That’s critical. They need to resolve their issues together, without your interference.”

Originally published as ‘My five-year-old won’t acknowledge her dad at all’