My daughter wants me to go to her first job interview with her

"I thought she meant for me to drive her there and wait... Have I not done enough to prepare her for life?"

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Advice Needed

My daughter has just finished school and is ready to work. I'm really excited for her to start looking for work, but I was taken aback the other day with her request.

She asked if I would come with her to her first job interview.

I thought she meant for me to drive her there and wait for her, but as we started to talk about the details, it became clearer that she wanted me to come to the interview with her. 

During school, she was very confident; she never needed me to hold her hand. I don't think of myself as a helicopter parent, so I'm at a loss as to why she would ask this. I get this is now the real world and she's nervous, but should I throw her in the deep end? Or is it a good chance for me to come and check out her potential boss and work environment?

I don't want this to deter her from getting a job, but I also don't want to be escorting her to every job interview. Have I not done enough as a parent to ensure she is "real world" ready? 

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RELATED: Mum brings toddler to job interview

Kidspot's Advice

First, would it help to know your situation isn't unique? It's becoming somewhat of a trend with Gen Z'ers. You haven't failed as a parent. 

In December, Intelligent, an online magazine focused on student life, surveyed 800 managers, directors and executives involved in the hiring process. A startling one in five (19 per cent) said a recent university graduate brought a parent with them to their job interview.

I hope this reassure you and brings back your confidence as a mum.

In the post-pandemic world, Gen Z'ers have been sheltered, and often socialising behind a screen, so real-life interactions can be "off-putting" for them. But it's not realistic to stay behind a screen, they need to learn and build resilience.

Gen Z'ers are losing their confidence and want their parents with them at job interviews. Source: iStock

RELATED: My kid is 12 and won’t go to school – but don’t blame me

Cut the umbilical cord

Boundary setting is one of the hardest things us parents have to do; whether they are small or big, we must put guards in place. When they are babies and toddlers, we do everything we can to keep them out of danger; putting up gates, locking drawers, fixing furniture to walls, camera monitors - the list goes on.

Once they start school, we have to widen the net a little more and realise that they will experience some discomfort in life and are all better for it. The key is as the parent, we are there for them when they do fall - no matter what age. 

And that's what you have to do here. 

Say 'no' but with love

Have a conversation with your daughter before the interview to avoid her panicking just before she goes in. 

You might want to say something like: 

"I know this job interview is daunting. It's unknown, and you don't know this person. But that's ok; you can do hard things," - Thanks, Glennon Doyle. 

Assure her that even though you won't go with her to the job interview, you will be there for her afterwards. Also, it might help her confidence if you prep ahead of time. It might be worthwhile rehearsing the interview.

If it was me, I'd be there when it's over and take her out for a mum/daughter date to celebrate. Not necessarily to debrief but just to mark the occasion that she did it, without you. Even if she doesn't get the job - it will help her for the next time. 

As parents, we have to know when to let them swim alone, and when to throw in the life vest. 

Best of luck to your daughter for her interview; I hope she gets the job. 

Originally published as My daughter wants me to go to her first job interview with her