‘I need a break from babysitting my grandchild, my daughter is furious at me’

"I’m just a wreck and feel like a terrible person," Bettina confessed.

They say it takes a village to raise a baby, but what happens when the village starts to burn out? 

Ever since her granddaughter was born, Bettina* has worked hard to watch over her whenever required. 

Every Sunday and Monday, she takes the child to her home, allowing her daughter and son-in-law to get some much-needed sleep ahead of the busy work week. 

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Bettina has been caring for her granddaughter every weekend since she was born. Picture: iStock

“My anxiety is through the roof and I feel like such a failure right now”

It’s been 13 months since her granddaughter was born, and while “it’s been great until now”, she’s started to feel worked to the bone. 

“She’s at a hard age where she’s into everything,” the woman confessed to Reddit. “I live in a small trailer where I can only child-proof so much, I have nowhere to go with anything.”

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Bettina is also struggling to chase her granddaughter around, who is at an age where she doesn’t know “what no means yet”. 

“I find myself hovering over her, trying to protect her,” she said. “She goes for anything not nailed down, out of curiosity, I know, but still I worry.” 

It was clear that Bettina needed a break; she was feeling so worn out that the thought of taking care of her granddaughter filled her with dread. 

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So she spoke to her daughter, Samantha*, about it - and she “flipped out”. 

“I told my daughter I needed a break,” Bettina said. “My anxiety is through the roof, and I feel like such a failure right now.”

Bettina has since visited the doctor about her anxiety, who prescribed her medication to help eliminate the feeling; so far, it wasn’t working as she hoped. 

In response, her daughter “used a lot of choice words to me” and refused to talk to her mother; she was furious that cracks were starting to form in her village. 

But Samantha’s reaction to her mother’s confession was too brutal and caused Bettina to “cry my eyes out and feel terrible”. It wasn’t like she wanted to give up her role as a grandmother, she clarified; she just needed a break. 

“Now my daughter isn’t speaking to me over it,” she said. “I tried to explain to her I just wanted to be grandma again and not the person always saying no.” 

Thinking back to her own experience raising her daughter, Bettina couldn’t believe she did it all without feeling this way. 

“It’s been so long since my daughter was so small, and I don’t remember how I got through it all back then, but she turned out fine,” she said. “I remember telling people that my daughter never had her terrible twos; she was such a good little girl. Her daughter is making up for that and more! She’s like a little Tasmanian devil.” 

“I’m just a wreck and feel like a terrible person.” 

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“Put your own oxygen mask on first, Grandma”

Everyone agreed that it was in Bettina’s best interest to put herself first; as Voltaire famously said: “We must cultivate our own garden”. 

“You seem like you do so much to help. And you just need a break for your mental health

“Put your own oxygen mask on first, Grandma,” a wise comment read. “Your daughter should be more concerned with your health than whether she has free babysitting.”

“I’m a grandma. This is HER baby. Not yours,” said another. 

“My village doesn't take my child unless it's an emergency for me,” a mother shared. 

“I would kill to have the help to get a good night's rest. You are an amazing mother, she should be grateful for everything you've done. Please put your health first.”

*Names have been changed

Originally published as ‘I need a break from babysitting my grandchild, my daughter is furious at me’