ANU’s gender handbook suggestion to drop mother, father is utter crap, writes Kara Jung

Asking people to dump words like mum, dad and breastfeeding is the mother of all insults, writes Kara Jung.

One of my greatest roles in life is being a mum.

Each birthday for my eldest, at the end of the day when our bellies are full of cake and I stare in wonder at how that tiny wiggly baby has grown so much, I lean in and hug him and thank him for giving me the greatest gift of all – making me a mother.

From belly, birth, breastfeeding and beyond, our family unit now has mum, dad, son and daughter.

But if academics have their way, there’ll be no more mums and dads – just gestational and non-birthing parents.

Yep, the Australian National University’s Gender Institute Handbook instructs tutors and lecturers to now use terms like “gestational” or “non-birthing” parent instead of mother and father.

It goes on to say we should abandon the terms “breastfeeding” or “mother’s milk” and instead say “chestfeeding’’ or “human or parent’s milk’’.

I chuckle to think of Vader’s raspy voice delivering that classic line in Star Wars.

“No, I am your non-birthing parent” sounds as stupid as this new ANU directive.

But it’s not a laughing matter when you consider it’s not an isolated incident.

The changes come a week after a hospital in the United Kingdom also told midwives to use terms like “birthing parents” and “human milk” or “chest milk”.

Language is important. It has the power to change thinking and steer community attitudes.

And it should change and morph and merge over time to be more inclusive and more representative of the society who speaks it. 

Human race is more accurate than mankind, manufactured more precise than man-made and workforce more correct than manpower.

But words like “chest milk” are neither more accurate nor more inclusive. They are utter crap. 

If you’d like your child to refer to you as “gestational parent” or “Karen” that’s fine.

And if you wish to expel your gender fluid chest milk into your youngest descendant while the non-birthing parent takes the eldest offspring to the place of climbing structures and swings, go for it.

A gestational parent chest feeding her descendant?

I’ll support individual family choices every time. But leave us mums and dads alone. 

Gender inclusivity doesn’t – and shouldn’t – be gender-neutral.

An inclusive language is one that avoids alienation and doesn’t attempt to kill off words that are hallowed to large swathes of our society. It shouldn’t be about putting us all into a bland generic box but celebrating the beautiful crazy spectrum of life.

Me being a mum does not make a transgender parent less than.

I breastfed my children mother’s milk that came from my breast, not my chest.

I am and always will be my children’s mother.

It should infuriate every mum and dad that some socially out-of-touch academics are trying to make those most sacred titles dirty words.

Originally published as ANU’s gender handbook suggestion to drop mother, father is utter crap, writes Kara Jung