‘Not on’: Man’s ‘creepy’ act at IGA supermarket angers

Aussies are divide over whether a mans “gesture” at a local supermarket was an innocent or something more sinister.

A social media post about a man leaving $100 at an IGA checkout for local school kids to get “free” lollies has sparked debate, dividing Aussies on whether this act was an innocent gesture or something more sinister.

The anonymous post on a Melbourne Reddit forum explained that a man, who looked to be in his 30s or 40s, prepaid for primary school children at a local IGA to buy lollies “even though he didn’t know them”.

“While it may seem [kind], it raises the question: Is it socially acceptable for strangers to buy treats for children they don’t know?” the poster asked.

“In an age where child safety is a priority, should we be more cautious, even with acts of kindness?”

The comments were split, with half saying it could be a sign of potential grooming and describing it as a “red flag” while others thought it was harmless.

A man left $100 at an IGA for school kids to get free lollies. Picture: NCA Newswire/Gaye Gerard

Commenters weigh in

One person who believed it was “grooming behaviour” said: “I would be very concerned if my child were given free lollies by a stranger, anywhere at any time.”

“This is a massive red flag, coming from someone who works in the child protection space,” added another.

“While it might appear as a kind gesture, it’s important to consider the implications of an adult buying things for children they don’t know. These kinds of actions should be approached with caution as acts like this can blur boundaries and raise concerns about the motivations behind them.”

A third said the man “sounds like a creeper”.

“The first rule of a pedophile is to groom the parents and gain their trust,” they claimed. “They are your children and don’t need strangers buying them things.”

However, some defended the man and said there was no indication that he waited around for the kids but simply paid over the counter and left.

“Let’s not try to turn this into something it isn’t,” one Redditor urged.

“If it’s anonymous and he has no interaction with the children how could it possibly be grooming?” another questioned.

Others claimed that people have been “brainwashed” by social media and true crime podcasts into thinking everyone has an ulterior motive.

“If this was a female, would that be something to be cautious about as well?” one user pointed out.

“This is so sad,” voiced another. “Imagine doing something nice and getting called a pedo. We are broken.”

Some Melburnians believed the gesture was likely for Halloween, which is this Thursday.

“Probably just trying to do something nice in the lead-up to Halloween,” one woman suggested.

While some thought it could be a sign of grooming, others thought it was a harmless gesture. Picture: AAP

What is grooming?

The term “grooming” refers to when a person prepares a child and their parents, carers and environment for sexual abuse.

It can involve establishing a trusting bond with a child or family over weeks, months, or even years.

“This allows the person who is grooming to spend more and more time with the child. It lays the groundwork for sexual abuse later on,” according to Raising Children Network.

Grooming of a child can sometimes involve buying them gifts or giving them special attention.

Parents are divided over the issue

News.com.au spoke with parenting experts and parents alike to get their views on the situation and how they would react if their child accepted gifts from an unknown adult.

Nama Winston, Parenting Editor at Kidspot, expressed serious concern, viewing this type of gesture as a potential predecessor to abuse.

“Do you know how many child abduction cases start like this? Offering to buy things for kids?” she said.

“I wouldn’t want my child taking ‘gifts’ from an adult they don’t know. The sad reality is that predators use all sorts of tactics, many of which those of us who aren’t predators wouldn’t even think of.”

Ms Winston explained that as a single parent, she has had to be extra vigilant, regularly talking with her 17-year-old son about the importance of never keeping secrets from her, particularly if an adult asks him to.

“The supermarket may accept this ‘kind’ offer, not realising until later that there are conditions or motivations from the ‘donor’,” she noted.

“They have a duty of care to the public to assess risks, and I’d think anything targeted to children needs to be thoroughly investigated before it’s offered to customers.”

However, Jordana Shell, a mum of three boys, said we shouldn’t be so quick to assume ill intent or jump to conclusions.

“We love to assume that an older man being nice to children has an agenda,” Ms Shell explained, “but the truth is there are just nice people in the world who just want to be nice.”

“In saying that, I would want my kids to ask me first to ensure and explain that it’s okay when mum is there.”

Leah Goulis, a mum-of-two and Kidspot’s Lifestyle Editor, shared that she also feels conflicted about the issue.

“I think it’s a bit strange but also a bit sad that if this man were just trying to bring joy to kids, people would be forced to think this way,” she shared.

If her children accepted an offer directly from someone, she would be worried but wouldn’t be as concerned if they found a random note with money.

“I would still encourage them not to take it,” Ms Goulis added.

“My kids know that there is such a thing as a safe stranger – because there is! – but they know not to take gifts from them, go anywhere with them, or tell them personal information.”

IGA said they regularly witness inspiring acts of kindness, including around Halloween. Picture: iStock

IGA responds

Acts of kindness like this are apparently common in IGAs across the country.

“Our stores are truly at the heart of their communities, and every day, we witness inspiring acts of kindness,” an IGA spokesperson told news.com.au.

“Whether it’s someone paying it forward with Halloween lollies, providing meals to those in need, or coming together to support a family facing hard times, we’re grateful to be part of such incredible communities where people genuinely look out for one another.”

Is ‘stranger danger’ still relevant?

It comes after the release of the Australian Sexual Offence Statistical (ASOS) report in July this year, which detailed the prevalence and nature of sexual offending across Australia.

The report revealed that the sexual offending rate between 2021 and 2022 was 40.11 per 100,000 population aged 10 years and over.

More than nine in 10 sexual offenders were male.

Around one-third of offenders were a non-family member known to the victim (32 per cent), one-third were either an intimate partner (15 per cent) or other family member of the victim (19 per cent), and one-fifth were a stranger (21 per cent).

That last finding suggests that although the term ‘stranger danger’ is commonly used, it might not truly reflect the reality of who most offenders typically are.

Originally published as ‘Not on’: Man’s ‘creepy’ act at IGA supermarket angers