I’ve found where all the single men have been hiding

Jana Hocking stumbled across single man after single man in the past week and it didn't’t involve any dating apps.

Last week I stumbled upon a room filled with single men. Some would suggest it was like a grown women’s Disneyland. (Me. I would suggest it.)

And I really want to help some sisters out and tell you all where it is, but I’m a touch worried you will flock to it like horny rabbits and before long they will all be all gone.

But in the spirit of our Holy Mother, Taylor Swift, and inspired by her lyrics “karma is my boyfriend” I’m hoping if I tell you, some good karma (aka. boyfriends) will come my way.

So prepare to actually cash in those online shopping carts filled with date night outfits, because we are going out!

It all started last Thursday when I organised to catch up with a friend who lived on the other side of the city, so we decided to meet wham bam in the centre of the city where we both work. We chose a bar that was surrounded by legal firms, corporate finance offices and the radio station I grace each week.

Straight after work at around 5pm I strolled into this bar and expected to nab a table for us all easily but the bar was packed. With men. Glorious men. In business suits and a hint of aftershave mixed with sweat after a long day making money. Heaven.

This was no fancy wine bar, or the hottest new restaurant that we women tend to choose on a night out. It was a simple establishment designed for happy hour.

Jana Hocking’s has a public service announcement that all the single men are in the pub. Picture: Instagram

Over the next couple of hours, we flirted our way through conversations with men who were stoked to see us there. We were shouted rounds of drinks, and shots, and for the first time in years we jumped up on the dance floor on a school night.

Was it worth the slight hangover the next day. Oh yes.

Then this following weekend I once again found myself in a flock of men. Side note: What do we call a flock of men? A herd perhaps?

Anyway, it was Sunday, and I woke up fresh as a daisy. The sun was out, and I decided it was a glorious day to sit in the sun with a bottle of wine and the girls for company. So I sent out a group message toot suite and we all gathered at the local pub walking distance from my apartment.

Now we had not got the memo that the football season had just started and this giant ‘herd’ of men had gathered at said pub to scream violently at the TV while they enjoyed beer.

A marvellous spectacle to watch.

As my girlfriends and I all tried to find each other in the maddening crowd, here is glimpse of our group text:

And in man heaven I was.

There was maybe three, four, possibly five other women there and honestly, I’m guessing 200 men.

Over the next couple of hours, we sat at a table in the sun drinking wine, eating hot chips and staring at these wondrous creatures in their natural habitat. The pub.

Now listen, we weren’t not going to get much chat out of them while the game was on, but once it finished, they came alive. They were in a good mood because footy season was back (hurrah … and all that jazz) and we were in a good mood because they were giving us the ‘how you doing’ eyes.

In the past week I spoke to more men in the wild then I have on any darn dating app.

For all our sooking about never meeting anyone in real life, it turns out we were just hanging out in the wrong spots.

I’ve previously done my good service deed by informing men that if they want to meet women they should start going to brunch but perhaps we women should follow the same idea and start going places where the men folk gather.

For me this week, it was after work drinks near places men tend to work and the pub during the footy. I think we should probably also venture to some country races, and actual sports tournaments. Now we’re talking!

It’s not rocket science when you think about it. Just think about all the times we’ve got ourselves dolled up to go places where there’s barely a single man in sight. Oh, the outfits we’ve wasted …

Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking

Originally published as I’ve found where all the single men have been hiding