‘If you’re going to lose your wife’: Gross reaction to Coldplay scandal

Readers around the world have been united in their shared interest in the Coldplay kiss cam scandal, and it has exposed the one thing about men.

OPINION

For a solid week now, the world has been united in our shared interest in the Coldplay concert cheating scandal, and it’s ultimately exposed the one thing men keep pretending is relevant.

Coldplay, love them or hate them, have bangers. Who hasn’t gotten teary listening to Fix You? But the band has arguably not been this talked about since Chris Martin married bone broth mega-fan and fellow A-lister Gwyneth Paltrow and named their daughter Apple.

Ironically, no one is talking about the band so much, aside from Martin’s throwaway remark as the kiss cam landed on a particular canoodling couple in the crowd. Rather, the focus is on said couple, sprung on camera NOT with their respective spouses at the sold-out gig.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about yet … where the bloody hell have you been all week?

Chris Martin hasn’t been this talked about since he named his daughter Apple. Picture: Robert Okine/Getty Images

I’m talking about the viral moment when Andy Byron, the married CEO of software company Astronomer, was seen snuggling his co-worker, Kristin Cabot, on the big screen.

Once the pair realised they were on camera they immediately detached from one another and scrambled to get out of view.

The HR manager turned away in horror, and the CEO took the fire safety approach and stopped and dropped …. and maybe rolled? Who knows, he was off-camera by that point.

Despite their best efforts to scatter, the damage was done.

Someone filmed the moment, posted it on TikTok and it now one of the most viewed clips ever.

Both Mr Byron and Ms Cabot, who is also married, have since resigned from their roles. Their lives are forever changed.

Their Coldplay canoodle has gone so viral that it has spawned a million different memes, theories and claims.

There has been debate around whether cheaters should be publicly shamed, questions raised as to whether any of us really have privacy in such a tech-filled world, and plain and simple judgement.

But there’s something else I want to talk about.

It has also exposed just how hard we are on women and how men online still love to measure women’s worth based on how attractive they happen to find them.

You know what they say: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder … and some random man on the internet.

The concert cuddle really took a turn for the worse. Picture: TikTok

They both ran away from the camera, but it was too late. Picture: TikTok

My whole feed on X is filled with people sharing their opinions on the reported affair and one theme I’ve noticed among the madness is how keen men are to share if they find Ms Cabot attractive enough.

In general, they give these opinions anonymously, but it is a recurring theme. A recent tweet by an anonymous account really encapsulates how emboldened men are to provide their point of view on this topic.

“If you’re going to lose your wife, your kids, your 50 million dollar per year job and half your fortune, please at least make sure it’s not for this,” the tweet read.

That weird tweet about her amassed 10 million views. Picture: LinkedIn

No one is going to look their best this close-up when they’re shocked. Picture: X

It also features a very close-up and, let’s face it, unflattering photo of Ms Cabot, where she looks visibly horrified.

That tweet has more than 10 million views and has spawned all the usual divided responses.

Someone claimed it was “outrageous” that the CEO would cheat on his wife with a woman who isn’t as “attractive”.

A woman chimed in and called men “gross” for discussing women’s looks, someone else accused the poster of “body-shaming”.

On the other end of the spectrum, someone went as far as to call Ms Cabot “hideous”, which is simply ridiculous and cruel.

Some even made lewd references to the idea that she must be good at other things for the CEO to be cuddling up to her.

A few people tried to assert logic into the discourse and point out that “looks aren’t why people cheat” and that “love is blind”, but what I’m most fascinated by is why men think it is at all relevant if they think a random woman is attractive or not.

No one has been discussing if Andy’s looks to the same degree. Picture: Astronomer

It’s a syndrome that seems to pop-up all the time, far beyond the Coldplay cheating saga.

I’ve seen this play out in my personal life. Someone will mention a woman and then add a qualifier, such as, “Yeah, she’s really hot”, or “Yeah, she’s not my type”. No one ever asked in the first place.

Men’s desire to let women know if they find them attractive or not is a real issue, and why do they always think it is so damn important?

I’m shocked by the fact that a cheating scandal has turned into men going online and debating how hot Ms Cabot is.

No one is discussing if the CEO is hot enough to have an affair with, and that is simply because men’s value isn’t measured as much by how good-looking people find them.

It’s exhausting, as a woman, to be measured by this impossible standard because you’re never going to be everyone’s version of hot; there are men on the internet right now calling Angelina Jolie overrated.

It’s an unwinnable game and what bothers me the most is the audacity. No one cares how hot or not you find Ms Cabot … no one.

Originally published as ‘If you’re going to lose your wife’: Gross reaction to Coldplay scandal