Aussie in NYC reveals what Sydney men get wrong
A Sydney woman who’s relocated to the US has shared all the things that make American men different to those Down Under.
An Aussie woman has exposed some major differences in the dating scenes in Sydney and New York.
Lisa Sun moved from Australia to the US just one month ago, but already, she’s noticed some huge differences in the men in each country.
Ms Sun, who is in a relationship herself, took to TikTok to expose a vile date she overheard.
But this man’s gross acts – including him inferring his date had eaten enough when she asked for the dessert menu – were just the beginning, spurring a conversation about the behaviour of men more generally.
In the US, she said men were more likely to talk about money, and referenced a conversation she had with a friend.
“I feel like dating is just so weird here, everyone just flexes so much about how much money they make, the family they come from, or what their parents have,” she said she was told.
This was par for the course, according to etiquette expert Jo Hayes, who had spent a lot of time in US.
She said it was a major difference between there and Australia – the home of tall poppy syndrome.
“In America, especially the big cities like NYC, LA and Chicago, talking yourself up, what most Aussies would categorise as major boasting, is often considered completely OK,” she told news.com.au.
“In Australia, humility is applauded. And while it is in many parts of America as well – especially in the good, solid, salt-of-the-earth Midwest – it takes a slightly different form, and men preening their peacock feathers, especially regarding career success and finances, for women they like, is quite common.
“In many ways, this is a basic dating [and] mating instinct: One wants to impress the target of their romantic interest, as peacocks do.”
However, Ms Hayes said this was a huge etiquette no-no, particularly on the first few dates – and she said this was one thing Aussie men did right.
“There is a way to share about your career success in a humble way – and tip for young-players, humility is one of the most attractive traits in a person – far more likely to get you a second date, than proud boasting,” she said.
“This is one reason why the traditional, humble Aussie bloke is so likeable the world over. They’re far less likely to boast. The fellas on Wall Street who think they’re impressing the ladies with their money-talk, but finding it hard to get a second date, might do well to take a leaf out of our man’s book.”
But it might be one of the only things Aussie men did right. Ms Sun suggested they weren’t footing the bill on first dates, while men in New York – perhaps reflective of their bragging about money – absolutely paid.
“In Sydney, I don’t really know any girls who would go on a date with a guy just to get a free dinner,” she said.
“I feel like you just can’t expect that, because the likelihood of him asking to split the bill is actually quite high.”
Ms Hayes said wasn’t something she’d previously heard of – though it had crept in for younger generations. According to Chime, Gen Z was far less likely than older generations to believe men should pay for dates, with many even preferring to split the bill.
However, for Ms Hayes, a man paying on the first date was an absolute necessity.
“I remain a staunch defender of traditional dating etiquette – a man pays on the first date, the second date, the third date, in fact, all dates, until a relationship is established. And continuing beyond that, too, where possible – but there can be a bit more mutual give and take once a relationship is established, and finances are more of a ‘shared’ thing,” she said.
“Paying for a date, and not making a big deal out of it, will impress a lady more than you know. It makes her feel taken care of, which is what women want. Paying for a date subtly demonstrates that you’re a man who can, and is willing to, provide for a lady – again, what women want in a man.
“It sends a very loud, clear message to a woman.”
Originally published as Aussie in NYC reveals what Sydney men get wrong
