James Weir recaps Married At First Sight episode 29: Diabolic MAFS wife baffles everyone
On Sunday’s episode of MAFS, “someone is lying” — and we have front-row seats to a villain in action. James Weir recaps.
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A diabolic Married At First Sight wife baffles her co-stars and bamboozles the show’s experts on Sunday night before one husband breaks the most important rule of marriage: thou shall not blab to wife’s friends about all the things she has bitched about behind their backs.
What kind of world are we living in where you can’t trash-talk your nearest and dearest in the privacy of your own home without it being repeated?
If this kind of treacherous behaviour is not called out and punished, society as we know it will crumble.
JAMES WEIR:Read all the recaps here
My arch nemesis Jamie is still devastated about being sexually rejected by my boyfriend Dave. Neither of them are being honest about what’s truly going on here: Jamie came on too strong and Dave freaked out and then Jamie started attacking her co-stars and Dave got the ick.
“I like Jamie. It’s not like I don’t like having sex with her,” Dave tells the experts after they zone in on him at the commitment ceremony.
Jamie furrows her brow at the limp compliment. “Um … yay?”
“Do you have romantic feelings for Jamie?” the sexpert Alessandra asks Dave.
He stammers. “Yeah … I think … I do?”
Jamie’s humiliated.
“Dave, I need to know how the hell you’re going to convince me this hasn’t been a fake relationship,” she demands.
(Well, doll, technically it is a fake marriage.)
Finally, Dave admits what we already know.
“When Jamie said she loved me, I got scared,” he sighs. “I was worried I’m not gonna get there. So I shut down and I handled it wrong. Yes, this is real. The romantic side? I struggle with that. I’m sorry. She’s one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met and that’s intimidating to lose.”
Both choose to stay and we swiftly move on to more important issues, like Ryan’s legacy in the cutthroat stormwater industry.
Ryan’s still annoyed that Jacqui asked him to ditch his career as a revered stormwater maven and become a stay-at-home dad.
“It was a character assassination,” he fumes to the experts before describing the challenges he has single-handedly dealt with, such as working full-time and adopting a dog.
Jacqui stands her ground and starts presenting completely sane and plausible hypothetical situations.
“If I get an opportunity to go work in New York for six months, I want to take it! If I’m in a coma, I need to know that my husband’s going to step up to the plate!” she argues.
OK, well, Jacqui, if you go to New York and have a baby and fall into a coma, we’re sure Ryan will rise to the challenge and give up his fabulous life in the glitzy stormwater industry to look after the family, like Kate Hudson in Raising Helen.
Next! Up on the couch is Veronica and Eliot. There has been so much growth in this relationship. Eliot, née Smelliot, has purchased some antiperspirant, lost his infamous BO and morphed from gaslighter to gaslightee. It’s quite the evolution. Meanwhile, Veronica, who was once a likeable newcomer, has transformed into Plankton, the evil villain in SpongeBob SquarePants.
Taking on the role of unreliable narrator, she tells the experts tall tales about how Eliot has wronged her and insulted her and mistreated her. The paranoid stories are at odds with what her co-stars have witnessed.
“No one can believe a word you’re sayin’,” Adrian mumbles.
Others in the group pipe up with positive character assessments of Eliot — a man who they say loves to play card games with everyone he meets.
“He has never asked me to play card games!” Veronica fumes about being excluded from the rousing games of Go Fish.
“You know I’m into card games!” Eliot says. “I’ve asked you multiple times!”
Veronica doubles down. “You’ve never asked me to play cards! We’ve never had a conversation about you liking card games!”
Veronica is determined to paint herself as the victim, but she loses support from the group.
“It’s hard to believe you, V,” Adrian mumbles.
Expert Mel Schilling sighs, like a world-weary detective. “Where’s the truth?”
John Aiken finally admits to not knowing much about anything.
“Frankly, I’ve got no idea what the hell is going on,” he shrugs. “But what I do know is somebody is lying. One says it’s black and the other says it’s white.”
Teejay offers some keen insight.
“One says it’s black and one says it’s a microwave,” he declares.
Um, thanks for the input, Teeje.
“Veronica, when you’re addressing Eliot, there seems to be a disdain in your voice,” John Aiken observes.
Veronica arches an eyebrow. “In life, I just say it how it is and I’m blunt.”
Spoken like a true reality TV villain.
“It feels like she hates my guts,” Eliot says, almost terrified of the reaction this comment will provoke.
Veronica tilts her head towards her husband. Her eyes shrink to a mean squint. With pursed lips, she smirks slightly.
“No. I don't hate you. I really do try. I’m sorry you feel that way,” she says, her tone soft and withering.
Eliot practically scampers away from her in terror.
“It felt like you hate me, the way you just said that,” he chokes up.
Both decide to leave the experiment. But we have no doubt Veronica will continue to haunt Eliot in his dreams.
Finally, Carina and Paul hit the couch. The fallout from the “honesty letter” task is still being felt.
Paul gets the experts up to speed: how he slept with Awhina’s identical twin a few years ago and, when Carina found out, she basically called Awhina’s sister trash and then Paul repeated this to Awhina because he secretly reckons Carina is a “snob”.
Does none of this make sense to you? How lucky you are.
“She’s very judgy,” Paul says. “She judges people very quickly.”
“I feel blindsided!” Carina says. “I can’t fully trust him.”
The experts make it perfectly clear: when one spouse bitches about their friends in the privacy of the marital home, this should never be repeated. It’s called having manners. Duh.
All strong relationships are built on trust — and bitching behind each other’s backs.
Facebook: @hellojamesweir
Originally published as James Weir recaps Married At First Sight episode 29: Diabolic MAFS wife baffles everyone
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