Ultimate insult awaiting South Sydney as must-win Roosters match looms

The Rabbitohs have endured a week from hell after a stunning slide down the ladder - but it could about to get way worse for the famous club.

Cody Walker of the Rabbitohs celebrates scoring a try during the round seven NRL match between the Dolphins and South Sydney Rabbitohs at Suncorp Stadium on April 13, 2023 in Brisbane, Australia. (Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images)

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There’s further torment ahead for the distinctly average Souths - and it’s not just a weekend of lame jokes about ‘beating the bye’.

The Rabbitohs may be lacking discipline, harmony, an assistant coach, online decorum and a prayer, but these will be mere bunions if they are sent to an early Mad Monday by the Roosters.

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With Souths on a bye and Trent Robinson’s side in a similar scenario playing the Tigers, all roads lead to a de facto knockout final between the feral foes - and with their form in the toilet, the Rabbitohs are on the cusp of the most sinful of exits.

Not only are they facing the ignominy of being bundled out at the last hurdle – and at the hands of their bitter rivals – it would also be to a team as equally underwhelming and undeserving of being in finals contention.

In simple terms, it doesn’t get more abominable for Souths than blowing a season to a Roosters side that’s half-arsed and half-Botox.

Cody Walker and Latrell Mitchell are the centre of drama at Souths.

To the outsider, a Souths vs Roosters eliminator is net-zero.

However, inside the bowels of their sizzling rivalry, the stakes are high enough to elicit literature and inspire families to eat domesticated pets as acts of vengeance.

This year, Souths have dominated as the Roosters battled under the weight of their own reflection, but six losses in nine matches has them eyeballing their enemy on the edge of the eight.

It’s a far cry from round 11 when the Rabbits sat atop the ladder, with their premiership favouritism now getting pulped beyond recognition by everyone from nuffie Facebook groups to Cronulla.

Many diehards are keeping the faith by highlighting wins earlier in the year over Penrith, Melbourne and Brisbane- but if this is all they’re carrying in to September, they’ll need either divine intervention or the McIntyre System.

South Sydney coach Jason Demetriou needs to turn it around. Picture: Julian Andrews

Where did it all go wrong for the Pride of the League?

For the first time in forever, the joint is leaking like a fisherman’s spanx.

Rumours of preferential treatment, bullying and power plays are rife, and that’s just Jason Demetriou’s behaviour on Instagram.

Others point to a supposed power imbalance held by Latrell Mitchell and Cody Walker, however the club believes it has recouped control by sacking Sam Burgess, the man who called out the pair.

However, this decision has been widely criticised not only because of Burgess’ gravitas around the club, but because these sagas can usually be fixed with an honesty session and a depraved drink-up.

Sam Burgess didn’t like what he was seeing at the club. Picture: Julian Andrews

Other factors blamed for Souths demise include the six week road trip necessitated by FIFA, the Origin period, Lachlan Ilias, and the deflating sight of aged castaway Adam Reynolds continually pinning down Father Time in his own 20m zone for the Broncos.

But overall, most are blaming Mitchell, namely for falling victim to injury, for getting punked by Braith Anasta, and for shot-gunning a tinnie at a Luke Combs’ concert- but to be fair, anyone who’s down in the dumps can be forgiven for drinking and listening to country music.

But whatever the reason for Souths failure, it all pales in comparison to the manner in which it concludes.

It’s one thing having the remains of your soul annihilated by Newcastle, but surrendering to the Roosters is almost enough for another licence cancellation.

- Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.

Originally published as Ultimate insult awaiting South Sydney as must-win Roosters match looms