‘Do I look like I fit in here?’: NRLW star Grace Kemp opens up on Indigenous identity and a long history with trying to fit in

Embracing her size, looks and identity is an ongoing process for Canberra NRLW star Grace Kemp. To celebrate NAIDOC Week she talks culture, body image issues and feeling like she doesn’t fit the stereotypical image of an Indigenous athlete.

Canberra Raiders NRL star Grace Kemp struggled with parts of her Indigenous identity growing up. Picture: Canberra Raiders

Embracing her size, looks and identity is an ongoing process for Grace Kemp.

The Canberra NRLW star, opening up for the first time about her struggle to fit in, is a proud Wiradjuri woman and former Wallaroo still learning about lost family history on dad’s side.

And even then, she says her height advantage, Scottish heritage, and flowing red hair make her second guess whether she looks the part of a stereotypical Indigenous athlete.

Identity can be a highly charged subject for Indigenous people, but by bravely speaking to her own insecurities, Kemp wants to free others of the same burdens.

“I don’t look Indigenous. That’s a big one for me,” she says.

“Being proud of my culture, but people not being able to see that culture in me.

“I do still get anxious going into All Stars camp, even though I know those girls fully accept me and love me and I love them.

“Being on that stage in that arena and having all the eyes on you, feeling so proud of my culture but wondering, ‘Do I look like I fit in here?’

“I’m lucky enough to have Jess Skinner (Jillaroos and Indigenous All Stars coach) as my mentor, and she’s been amazing for me.

“She’s so reassuring, and her knowledge has been so good for me.”

Kemp played for the Indigenous All Stars earlier in the year. Picture: NRL Photos

Many of her All Stars teammates share the same anxiety around meeting an unrealistic expectation of what an Indigenous person should look like.

For the first time this year, Kemp too copped comments on social media questioning her Indigenous heritage, despite the obvious fact that identity is not defined by appearance.

“I copped a bit this year just about appearance,” she says.

“But I don’t see them out there supporting us and wanting to learn more about culture. I just had to brush it, I was around so many strong women that I didn’t care.”

This year marks the 50th anniversary of NAIDOC Week, which celebrates the next generation, strength, vision and legacy.

As she discovers more about her own family history, the themes have been playing on Kemp’s mind as a rising young leader in the NRLW space.

Kemp is an emerging leader at the Raiders. Picture: Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images

SMALL TOWN MINDSET

Growing up in a small town is rough if you stand out.

At one stage Kemp was one of three girls in her primary school class.

By year six, she was almost six foot tall and had size 12 feet – incredible genetic blessings for an athlete, but not so easy if you just want to fit in.

Her dad Paul was born and raised in Harden, and so was she, while her mum Kirsty is a former ballerina from Scotland, which is where the red hair comes in.

“Growing up I had body issues because I wasn’t built the same as those girls around me,” she says.

“My mum was a ballerina when she was younger, for her to have this tall child, I did not look like her daughter.

“Going into swim club, I was a pretty built little girl. I was very tall, I wasn’t skinny, I had size 12 feet in year six.

“So for me to come into a sport that embraces different body types with open arms, there’s a position for everyone. You look at all the girls in our team, we all have different body types and all bring something so different and so amazing to our game. I love that young girls are growing up seeing that.”

Kemp with her partner Miller. Picture: Jonathan Ng

It wasn’t until she moved to Canberra in year 10 and started to play rugby union that her 185cm frame was celebrated for the gift it is.

“If I feel strong in a game that’s all that matters, if I perform that’s all that matters. It’s been a journey for me to accept myself,” she says.

Kemp’s big heart radiates, too.

An aspiring teacher, she sees it as her responsibility to help change stereotypes of Indigenous women and female athletes by promoting a healthy body image and self esteem.

“It’s a responsibility, but it’s amazing. I never had this, growing up, so I want to be that person for those young girls and boys,” she says.

“You look at Ilona Maher (American rugby sevens star), she’s amazing. What she’s done for female athletes, but non athletes too.

“Those girls who have strong body types and aren’t in a size two, we’re changing the norms.”

LOST FAMILY HISTORY

For Kemp, the process of learning about her mob and background is complicated.

Her dad’s great grandmother was adopted out to another family during Australia’s shameful stolen generation near the Parkes and Dubbo area.

And those stories and connections have been lost over time.

Kemp is still learning about her Indigenous identity. Picture: Canberra Raiders

“I’ve had a few conversations with my nan about it, and she knows a little bit, but not too much,” she says, adding that Indigenous All Stars camp has helped her learn more.

“We went out to Trangie for our Indigenous All Stars Camp and just learning off those aunties there, I dropped the last name Hodges, which was my nan’s side, and they spoke about the Hodges family and where their roots are, so I kind of got a connection through there.

“We’re learning through asking questions, whether people have any recollections, talking to people about who they’re related to, asking their stories.

“It is a sad thing, but I find it a connection piece, I am able to talk to my nan about it, it’s a sad thing for her, she doesn’t know too much and she wasn’t brought up with the same opportunities that I have.

“Same with my dad, he would give anything to have grown up knowing more about our culture and get the same experiences that I’m getting.”

ENDING THE HATE

Kemp played all three games of last year’s Origin series. Picture: Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images

This week Kemp was one of a handful of Raiders players to launch the club’s Indigenous jersey.

It was designed by Ngunnawal, Bundjalung and Kamilaroi artist Shaenice Miles, who collaborated with the Raiders’ Indigenous playing group to meaningfully depict culture.

As part of her community work with the Raiders where she visits schools to deliver healthy messaging, she also spent time at a NAIDOC touch carnival with teammate Sophie Holyman, who has been a huge support by encouraging her to speak about culture.

“It’s an education piece. Sophie Holyman has been so open to learning about culture and asking a lot of questions, and I could have those conversations all day.

“It’s those types of people who empower you to talk about it.

“People who create those stupid comments online, or have different feelings towards it, I don’t think they understand the depths of our culture and how long it’s been around.

“I don’t know why people hate it so much. I’m all about educating people if they care to ask.”

Originally published as ‘Do I look like I fit in here?’: NRLW star Grace Kemp opens up on Indigenous identity and a long history with trying to fit in