Danny Frawley’s family, friends back new St Kilda tribute game

Danny Frawley’s former teammates have issued a plea to friends of people facing mental health challenges as they back a new tribute game to honour the St Kilda legend.

Robert Harvey, Anita Frawley, Stewart Loewe and Anita's daughters Chelsea (left) and Danielle (right) with Danny Frawley's famous No.2 St Kilda guernsey. Picture: Corey Scicluna

Silence always seemed to raise the loudest alarm.

That was Hamish McLachlan’s recollection of his cherished relationship with St Kilda legend and mental health advocate Danny Frawley.

It mirrored the experience of many of Frawley’s close friends who loved the long chats, the catch-ups and the mirth he always brought to conversations.

But they also worried when their mate periodically dropped off the social radar when he was hit by “the black dog”.

Frawley’s battle with mental health issues — which he bravely and publicly articulated in an effort to destigmatise it — meant his connection with friends ebbed and flowed with his challenges.

McLachlan would be in regular communication with Frawley — often just chatting on the phone as early as 4am or 5am “until the world woke up” — before the phone would then go unanswered at times.

“There were times when I thought he was right and he used to say, ‘I am on top of it, no more black dog’,” McLachlan told the Herald Sun.

“Then you would ring him (sometimes) and he wouldn’t answer. You would keep trying and trying and couldn’t get hold of him for a week.

“When he did (answer), he would say, ‘It got me again’.

“He started talking about it (his issues). That helped him … but it didn’t help him enough.”

Sadly, Frawley was unable to get on top of those battles. Ultimately that played a part in his death, at 56, when his four-wheel drive struck a tree near Ballarat in September 2019.

McLachlan added: “I reckon the onus is on those of us who know they have mates who suffer.

“When ‘Spud’ (Frawley) wasn’t picking up (the phone), you just knew he was in trouble and that’s a great lesson for people.

“Go around and knock on their door. Take them out for a run. Go and find them.

“If they are not picking up the phone, I reckon no news is bad news.”

St Kilda will honour Frawley in an emotionally-charged Round 2 tribute match dubbed “Spud’s Game: Time 2 Talk” against Melbourne at Marvel Stadium on March 27.

It will be an annual event to celebrate Frawley’s life.

But it will also focus on broadening mental health discussions in the community, as well as raising money for the Danny Frawley Centre for Health and Wellbeing, which will open at Moorabbin in December.

Frawley’s former teammates and friends including Tony Lockett (who will come down from New South Wales for the game), Robert Harvey, Stewart Loewe, Garry Lyon and McLachlan will play a role in the tribute, urging people to try to keep in touch with their mates.

St Kilda legends Stewart Loewe, Danny Frawley and Robert Harvey.

Frawley’s wife Anita and daughters Danielle, Chelsea and Keeley — who have played a key role in the Spud’s Game: Time 2 Talk concept — are fully supportive of the tribute and its long-range ambitions to help those suffering from mental health challenges.

Garry Lyon couldn’t think of a better way to honour Frawley, who played 240 games for St Kilda from 1984 to 1995 before embarking on coaching and media careers.

“Spud is the embodiment of some of the issues that everyone confronts,” Lyon said.

“He was a larger-than-life character who could be so happy and so full of life, but he also had his struggles.

“His story will continue to be told and I’m glad because I love the man.

“He had so much fun in him, but he would want us to talk about the other side of things as well and educate people in the process.”

Lyon said he would forever remain grateful for Frawley for helping him through his own mental health challenges.

“We have come such a long way (in mental health awareness) … I have had my own issues along the way and sometimes people would question you,” Lyon said.

“They had the temerity to say, ‘It is not right’ or that ‘That’s an excuse’ or, ‘You are looking for an easy way out’.

“That sort of attitude prevented others from coming forward in the process.

“He (Frawley) was always the first on the phone (when Lyon was struggling) and was forever telling me to make sure you don’t try and do these things on your own … you have to talk.

“It is a great message. I continue to try and share it with people today.”

Family and fans farewell Danny Frawley at Moorabbin.

Robert Harvey said Frawley’s death remained “very raw” for him and for many of his teammates, but he couldn’t be prouder to play a role in Spud’s Game: Time 2 Talk.

“It is going to be a great night; it will raise such great awareness for the cause,” Harvey said.

“Everyone is a lot more comfortable now (talking about mental health) … he was a real crusader in that regard. It was hard for him to do it, but he knew there was a bigger cause.

“The girls (Anita and Frawley’s daughters) have done such a great job. They are crusading for him and for the cause, and he would be so proud of the job they are doing.”

He said the Saints’ get-togethers and unofficial catch-ups will never be the same without Frawley, but they will always talk about and remember their close mate.

Fellow Saints teammate Stewart Loewe agreed the need to talk was the most important message when confronting mental health challenges.

“It’s a fantastic initiative from the club and hopefully if we can change the perceptions for some people, I know the big fella would be happy about that,” Loewe said.

“I have experienced it in my family, too.

“The people who were close to him will never forget him. But I think this just enables us to talk about it to a lot of other people and to get them feeling comfortable broaching the subject.

“He was just a great man, someone who would listen. He was someone who was there (for me) when I started my journey at St Kilda and he was someone who was still there (for me) when I finished. Decades later, he was still there. He was just always there for you.”

Danny Frawley was an advocate for mental health awareness. Picture: Mark Stewart

McLachlan said mental health should be treated as any other physical injury, even if it is sometimes “invisible to the naked eye”.

“When Nathan Thompson came out a number of years ago (with his depression), everyone thought it was the most extraordinary thing,” he said.

“There were people questioning him, people saying, ‘You are going to ruin your career’, and (he said) ‘Well, if I don’t (talk about it), I am going to ruin my life’. He was so brave about it.

“Now Schwatta (Wayne Schwass) has done a great job in normalising it, and the players have helped in their own way on their platforms, like Bailey Smith did the other day.

“If you speak to anyone (suffering), the more they talk about it to people around them, the easier it is to manage the dark times because they have people to lean on and talk to.”

St Kilda chief executive Matt Finnis said the club had committed to making a difference on behalf of Frawley for the sake of others.

Anita Frawley and their daughters have been involved in the planning of Spud’s Game: Time 2 Talk.

Daughter Chelsea is working at the club now, while Danny’s nephew James was coaxed out of retirement to join the Saints in 2021.

Finnis said: “When the Royal Commission was released (recently), the numbers were more than confronting.

“No one wants to lose a past player and we have lost one of our treasured icons of the club.

“But there are many past players who are struggling for many different reasons, whether that is from physical ailments or what we are seeing with the impact of concussions.

“Sometimes it is important to put a flag in the ground.

“I remember Pat McGorry (2010 Australian of the Year for his services to mental health) saying to us, ‘By creating (the Danny Frawley Centre for Health and Wellbeing), it commits St Kilda in the long term to the cause’.

“By creating this Centre, and committing to Spud’s Game: Time 2 Talk, it locks the St Kilda Football Club to supporting the mental health and wellbeing of our people and our community … which is a generational opportunity.”

Given what is happening in the community as a whole in the wake of the pandemic, the Saints know there is not a moment to waste.

A SPECIAL NIGHT FOR SPUD

St Kilda will honour Danny Frawley’s legacy with an annual tribute match — Spud’s Game: Time 2 Talk — that it hopes will help tackle the stark rise of mental health issues in the community.

The Saints will use their Round 2 game — signifying the No.2 guernsey Frawley wore for most of his 240 games with the club from 1984 to 1995 — against Melbourne at Marvel Stadium on March 27 to celebrate his huge contribution to the club and the game.

St Kilda chief executive Matt Finnis said the club wanted to mark Frawley’s contribution with something tangible with ongoing benefits.

“We are building a physical piece of his legacy in the form of the Danny Frawley Centre for Health and Wellbeing, but to also have a game that we can use as a platform for a conversation nationally about mental health is so important,” Finnis said.

“Spud was a giant of St Kilda, but he transcended the Saints. This is a chance for the broader football-loving public and the entire community to take a moment and remember him, but more importantly to reach out to someone they might want to check in on.

“It is one thing to remember Spud, but to honour him properly, we need to bring about change.”

Danny Frawley celebrates a St Kilda in 1989 with Tony Lockett (left).

Frawley’s wife, Anita, said the club’s willingness to tackle one of the most pressing challenges in society would provide an ongoing tribute.

“This (concept) means the world to our family,” Anita Frawley said.

“It gives us hope Danny’s legacy is being honoured in a meaningful way, and we know this will help to improve the lives of Australians living with or supporting someone who suffers from mental ill-health.

“Danny would be so proud to have a mental health game in his honour. He spoke openly about his struggles in the hope he could encourage others to do the same.

“To have the St Kilda Football Club continue his legacy by encouraging this vulnerability is extremely powerful.

“We hope that this match not only raises funds for community-based mental health prevention and intervention programs, but it raises the importance of mental health awareness within the industry as a whole, because it is Time to Talk.”

On the night there will be a series of videos from those closest to Frawley, celebrating his life but also encouraging people to check in on their family and friends who might need support.

The tribute comes in the wake of Victoria’s recent Royal Commission into the state’s mental health crisis, which found a significant rise in those suffering and a shortage of community-based care.

Almost half of all Australians aged 16 to 65 — around 7.3 million people — will experience a mental illness at some stage of their life. It is also estimated around one million Australian adults have depression and more than two million people suffer from anxiety.

While women are more likely to experience depression and anxiety, men make up for three out of every four suicides in Australia.

St Kilda has partnered with Movember for the Spud’s Game: Time 2 Talk. Money raised will fund programs at the Danny Frawley Centre for Health and Wellbeing, which will be available for schoolchildren, sports clubs, community groups and Saints’ past players.

Finnis said the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic had heightened the need for greater awareness and more facilities for mental health.

“The need for this type of service and this centre has never been more important,” Finnis said.

“We want to be open by the end of 2021

“We will be able to combine physical health and mental health. (There will be) a hydrotherapy pool, a swimming pool and gym.

“But you will also have classrooms to run mental health first-aid programs, you will also have a drop-in space where past players and the community will be able to come together for workshops.

“There is a space for meditation and consulting suites for people to just have a conversation.”

Funds will be raised through movember.com/spud with special edition caps and T-shirts also available for purchase.

Originally published as Danny Frawley’s family, friends back new St Kilda tribute game