Industrial shed the only way to go for booming collection

THE "Theory of Shed Relativity” shows it's simply the only option when you've got a car obsession that shows no signs of slowing.

VEHICLE TANGO: Andrew Gale knows what it's like to do a shuffle every time you want to go for a spin. Picture: Contributed

THE last few weeks have found me spending a lot of time looking at sheds and carports. Big ones.

Sheds capable of housing 10 cars or more. Sheds for the backyard and even sheds that occupy their own piece of real estate.

You know, factory type sheds located in industrial estates.

One issue is our business. We have three work cars, a work truck, a work boat and a jetski. That is in addition to our "family car”, Sissy's car, Gus's car, a camper trailer and a sailing dinghy on a trailer.

They all occupy our various sheds, carports and driveways at the Gale residence.

Then there are the projects. Three Cars. All made by Ford, aged 47, 39 and 30. Two V8's and a convertible.

They take pride of place in the best and safest spots available.

The problem really isn't just building a big enough shed, its building a big enough shed for all the other exciting "trinkets and baubles” that might cross my path in the next 20 or 30 years.

If I get another shed, it needs to be big enough to house all them too. "Future-proofing”.

One thing I have noticed is a person can never have a shed that is big enough. Not ever.

I've also noticed that I am not the only one that has this problem.

I have many friends and acquaintances that are likewise afflicted. Some have it far worse than me.

For example this guy I know, I won't name him as he might be offended (and he has a car I want to buy as soon as I expand my storage space) has a shed big enough to house maybe 20 buses, oops I mean coaches.

Now that shed is chock-a-block with cars, and even a few coaches too!

Despite having what I reckon is the biggest shed in the area, he still has at least 10 or 15 vehicles parked outside. The "overflow”.

Another family I know who live just out of town have the same issue.

I recently bought a car off them so they could make some space so what did they do? Bought another three cars! And one was a Nissan!

It's not just amateur car collectors either, it's industry professionals too.

Another mate, I'll just call him Dave to protect his identity, has a massive collection of half-completed odds and sods, mostly British in origin all over his workshop and the adjacent holding yard.

I think the eminent sociologist and motoring enthusiast, Professor Keith Bogan, of the world-renowned Bathurst Institute of Social Sciences sums it up best in his "Theory of Shed Relativity”.

Bogan states in this theory, that a car enthusiast's available parking spaces (P) will always be inversely proportional to the number of motor car projects (mc) that the person has, multiplied by the percentage of project completion. As an equation, P=mc2.

OK I admit it, I just made that up. I'm just struggling here to justify my obsession and using humour to deflect. Standard practice for the last 50 odd years.

I better run though, I'm just going to check out a shed out at the industrial estate that becomes vacant soon. You might know it as the Big W DC.

No one could ever fill that one! Or could they?

Originally published as Industrial shed the only way to go for booming collection