Giving thanks to skilled ER staff

Columnist Andrew Gale recalls times with his children at the ER

FAMILY INCIDENTS: Andrew Gale says he has lots of country doctors and triage nurses to thank for helping his large family through many mishaps.

MY DARLING and I have a big family by today's standards.

Seven kids - six boys and one darling girl. Twenty-three down to six years old.

We started with two boys, one after the other and then our daughter. We tried so hard to give her a sister after that.

Instead she got four more brothers and will forever be known as sissy.

I told the girl who would end up being my wife that I was going to have a big family, at least five kids, the first time I ever met and spoke to her.

Twenty-nine years ago, next month.

It was love at first sight. For me at least.

Not that we'd even kiss for a while but I knew she was the one and I needed to give her full disclosure straight away.

She didn't run for the hills so it was a pretty good policy.

As a consequence of our big family, we are well known at the emergency department of any town we have lived in.

Stitches, broken bones, objects inserted in noses, ears and swallowed.

I give thanks every day that our brood has been basically healthy and have tremendous sympathy for anyone who is struggling with the health of a child. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Now, I probably should apologise for pushing the buzzer a couple of more times than I should have last time I presented at triage at the Warwick Hospital, but my kids are whoppers and holding a bleeding six-year-old is hard work.

I remember a few years ago when "boy number three” was about six or so.

We were visiting family on the south side of Brisbane when he decided he might try to fall over and head-butt a brick wall.

Thankfully the wall was not damaged but number three wasn't so well off. I could see straight away as I picked him up that he had a very large split to his scalp, right near the hair line. It was bloody. Not in great arterial spurts or anything but enough to send boy number three into hysterics and the nannies and poppies into shock.

When we arrived at the emergency department I could see straight away there was going to be a problem. A queue stretched from the triage sister, all the way to the door. Dozens of other people sat on chairs or were slumped against walls. Waiting. I walked in, dripping blood on the floor. Boy number three had calmed a bit, but was still sobbing.

I tried to call out a bit towards the front of the line. Looking for some sympathy and the "fast lane”. Nope, no one looked up from their computer screens. My casualty was still bleeding but he had gone a bit quiet. I had an idea.

There is a classic "dad face” I can make. It's my Mr Bean face. The little kids normally wet themselves laughing when they see it. It makes the teenagers cringe but this kid was petrified of it for some reason. Still is. He saw a green Mini-minor the other day and almost fainted. I executed the cunning plan, looked at him with the face. That certainly got his attention. He began to scream, probably a bit much. It certainly got the attention of staff and we were quickly whisked away to a cubicle where sutures, superglue and a dressing was applied.

I take my hat off to our local hospitals where waiting times are relatively short for these emergencies. I've barely had to wait more than a couple of minutes if we present with a broken or bleeding child.

My darling says the same thing has happened when she's turned up there with a bleeding and broken husband - but that's another story.

Originally published as Giving thanks to skilled ER staff