One weird trick to win the NSW election

CHECK out this one weird trick to beating Labor at elections that the media doesn’t want you to hear.

CHECK out this one weird trick to beating Labor at elections that the media doesn't want you to hear.

In a 20-minute video outlining his amazing one-time offer to private equity markets, NSW Coalition spokesman Prince Wallet Gonmissin gave no fewer than 45 reasons for why his team should win tomorrow's election.

"I am currently being held hostage by the Chinese Government," Prince Gonmissin said.

"I have enough money to clear all of the NSW state debt and repair your economy.

"But to sneak it out of China I first need your electricity infrastructure as a deposit."

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The Premier's $20 billion infrastructure plan came under attack from the Labor Party after a squabble over which interest rate applied to the last $5 billion portion.

"The Coalition want you to believe asset sales will benefit you, when they'll only benefit their corporate friends," said Labor spokesperson Eli Avterli.

"It has been revealed to our glorious leader the long-hidden truth about the NSW economy.

"You can understand, too, with our series of tapes and weekend retreats."

TRUE STORY: Metgasco unhappy with tactics by all sides of politics

The Brisbane Institute's NSW IT expert Haxxor URMhz420 revealed a security breach may have compromised the online voting platform used for early voting.

"Our systems have det-ected a virus on the comp-uter you used to lodge your vote," they said.

"As part of your vendor's certified anti-virus team, we are authorised to offer you our repair software at a discount.

"We require you to download our software and enter your credit card details to move ahead and remove the virus.

"For an additional fee we can abolish local councils."

TRUE STORY: Coalition calls Foley's China worries racism 

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Frisky Business is a satire column. It is not real. 

Originally published as One weird trick to win the NSW election