Kendall Gilding opens up on the pain for parents of surviving the never ending school holidays

This is a message to all those hard working parents out there. You’ve made it through the summer holidays and school is nearly back, we got there, writes Kendall Gilding.

Kendall Gilding with her son Moses in 2023. Photo: Sinead Gardner.

I want to give a long, slow, non-condescending clap to all the parents out there! You did it! You’ve made it through the summer holidays! A blur of Christmas, New Year and the longest time your kids will spend at home all year! It’s almost over!

Remember when summer holidays meant lazy beach days, reading that book you’ve been desperate to devour, and catching up with friends?

Now if you get to the beach you spend the entire time behaving like an army commando trying to keep your kids safe. You still attempt to read the book, but it only happens at the end of the night, so you fall asleep after two pages.

And any friend catchups involve a playground and 12 conversations that you start but don’t finish.

These days, my greatest achievement is keeping the dishwasher running on a strict, two-cycle-a-day schedule.

It’s the real MVP of our house. It deserves a medal, and some therapy after what it’s been through.

My five-year-old said she’d start to help unpack it but wanted a “note” in exchange. Yes, she thinks $5 is fair payment for one quick dishwasher unstacking. I think not! I told her we could keep a tally on the fridge and she could earn her “note”. That lasted less than a week. Alas, I’m back to doing it solo.

Kendall Gilding at home, February 2024. Photo: Laz Smith.

Food waste seems to double during the summer holidays. “Mum, I want a sandwich and some strawberries for lunch!”

So, I diligently prepare the requested meal, only for two bites to be taken.

It’s a never-ending juggle of peace and guilt. Peace equals giving them food that they like, something they’ll eat without complaint, and I can be proud that nothing will end up in the rubbish. Guilt equals the fact that it usually includes beige food, a highly processed meat, and limited nutritional content. Today I choose the easy road. We’ll tackle vegies tomorrow.

Then there’s the entertainment. “Muuuuum, I’m booored” will be heard at homes around the world. But how can you be bored? It looked like a toy shop exploded in our living room on Christmas Day!

You received every item on your wish list – mermaid costumes, supermarket check-outs, monster trucks, Polaroid cameras, activity books, loom bands, remote control cars, you name it, we now own it. But the sparkle of each toy only lasts a few days.

The parent guilt comes in waves. There’s the usual shame about screen time – those four straight episodes of Bluey while I enjoy 30 blessed minutes of autonomy. The same minutes I spent folding washing and cleaning the kitchen after breakfast, mind you, not sipping margaritas by the pool as they might believe.

But the deeper guilt comes from the moments of lost patience, when the pressure of being “on” 24/7 breaks even the strongest resolve. I’ve snapped more times than I’d like to admit. I’ve said things I shouldn’t. And I’ve wished I could rewind time.

Bluey & Bingo on their CityDogs on the Brisbane River. Picture: Steve Pohlner

The summer holidays teach you many things: children’s food preferences are as reliable as the BOM forecast, the dishwasher holds a household together, and boredom is immune to even the most impressive gadget. But perhaps, most importantly, it’s that perfect parenting is a myth!

What works for the neighbours’ kids may not work for yours. Children will always be better behaved for other people than their own parents. And being touched, hassled, called out to, and walked in on while on the toilet will eventually wear any person down.

My advice – never be above an apology – say sorry quickly, even to a child!

Seize any burst of energy for an activity or adventure. Ditch the guilt of not feeling “fun enough” … lazing around watching cricket all day is an Australian rite of passage.

And remember Bluey is the greatest kids’ show ever made, and the lessons woven into each episode could sometimes be considered better than school.

I’ve only been interrupted six times while trying to write this, so if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and explain to my children why we can’t have ice cream for breakfast. Followed by blowing up an inflatable slide and being a “cool mum” who will fly down it – even if I suffer whiplash in the process.

Happy holidays, bring on school!

Originally published as Kendall Gilding opens up on the pain for parents of surviving the never ending school holidays