Why Bunnings Oniongate is a bad omen for humanity

'Onion tears' are like 'crocodile tears' except they're the tears you cry when you realise homo sapien is probably going to 'stupid' itself into extinction

ONIONGATE: 'Onion tears' are like 'crocodile tears' except they're the tears you cry when you realise homo sapien is probably going to 'stupid' itself into extinction and you're not that sad about it. Picture: Geordi Offord

SEVENTY women have been killed in Australia by their partners or ex partners so far this year but when I checked Facebook first thing this morning, the topic that Aussies were clearly outraged about was the new ruling on Bunnings sausages.

I kid you not.

Every second post on my feed was on this subject.

For those of you lucky enough to not have Facebook, nor to have heard about this scourge afflicting our fair shores, Bunnings has brought in a new policy that the onions on the old snag in bread available outside most of their stores most days, must be served under the snag so they don't slip off and cause an OH&S hazard.

Such is the outcry that now, Sportsbet is rating the hardware giant a $1.85 chance to overturn the rule.

For me it is a new low in illustrating how screwed up our priorities have become.

I weep for humanity with what I will henceforth call "onion tears".

They're like "crocodile tears" except they're the tears you cry when you realise homo sapien is probably going to "stupid" itself into extinction. You are weeping for humanity but you are not really sad because you think humanity probably deserves what's coming.

I will repeat: 70 Australian women have been killed so far this year by domestic violence. Can I get an outraged emoji at least?

Originally published as Why Bunnings Oniongate is a bad omen for humanity