NAPLAN – the folly of pollies

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO JACK: I was one of the lucky ones. Now, since my beginnings in 1992, my saying that has been very rare indeed.

NAPLAN WOES: NewsMail columnist Jack McGovern just missed the test. . Picture: Scottie Simmonds

I WAS one of the lucky ones.

Now, since my beginnings in 1992, my saying that has been very rare indeed. After all, I always seemed to be the one to pick up the "Go to Jail" card in family games of Monopoly.

However, I was in fact lucky because of that year of my beginning: 1992.

See, thanks to my age - and really, I mean thanks - I just missed the first year of NAPLAN.

Lucky, lucky me.

As a student, all I ever heard of the government's clever little educational concoction was students' animosity towards the test.

And now, as an ex-student, all I ever hear of the government's clever little educational concoction is teachers' animosity towards the test.

Long story short, I'm noticing a bit of a theme here: no one likes the test.

Bold? Rash? Out there?

Perhaps.

That said, my "bold", "rash" and "out there" analysis was confirmed earlier this week, when a survey of teachers and principals returned some rather unflattering figures for Australia's favourite national test.

Ninety percent of those surveyed - yes, 90% - said the test served little purpose, save perhaps the increase of unnecessary stress for students and staff alike.

But don't stress. According to Federal Education Minister Peter Garrett, these little NAPLAN papers are a good thing.

He's probably right. After all, what would teachers and principals know?

I for one am much more keen to place my children's education in the hands of a man whose most relevant qualifications include voting popularity, a few ARIAs with Midnight Oil and the creation of possibly the most popular dance genre in modern day nightclubs, even if they are taking the mick.

In case you couldn't tell, that was sarcasm.

Our teachers know what they're doing. Not only have they done the hard yards at uni, they've done the hard yards in the classroom.

I remember the disappointment I felt when I finished grade 12.

It wasn't the fact I'd no longer see my friends every day that led to this sadness.

It wasn't my love for the incredibly comfortable seats under C-Block I knew I'd miss.

It wasn't even the ultimate realisation I'd never fulfil my potential as a prop forward for the senior rugby league team that got my disappointment going.

Apparently, a physique like a "twig with a food phobia" - as the coach would always say - wasn't the ideal frame for the role.

I was disappointed because I knew my education wasn't as complete as I'd thought it would be.

I had to go to university.

See, unfortunately for me, as I sat at home on graduation afternoon pondering the prospects of my future - my career, my life choices, my mid-life crisis and even the Ferrari that would surely come with it - that whole uni thing became more and more apparent.

This is not to say one cannot make a roaring success of themselves without some piece of paper.

However, looking back, I now know why "that whole uni thing" was so important.

You do it so you actually know what you're doing at work. And from then on in, you keep learning from simply doing your job.

I don't mean any disrespect to our favourite pop star-cum-politician, but he needs to listen to his men and women actually out on the field.

They're the ones with the degrees. They're the ones handing out those NAPLAN papers.

And yes, they're the ones with 25-30 screaming kids in their classrooms five days a week.

I really was one of the lucky ones.

I think it's time we gave our teachers some luck too.

Originally published as NAPLAN – the folly of pollies