I want a rest, not arrest

MY GIRLFRIEND and I were pretty disappointed when we didn’t win a trip to Dubai last week.

EXOTIC: Besides the tallest hotel, Dubai also has “different” laws.

MY GIRLFRIEND and I were pretty disappointed when we didn't win a trip to Dubai last week.

I mean, call us spoilt and presumptuous but when Qantas and Emirates offered 10 double passes to Dubai for the Easter holidays, we sort of thought it was only a case of their finding the other nine lucky couples.

See, we like to think we're pretty creative. And when the criteria specified the great airlines would reward the most creative under-25-word responses as to why their new partnership was such a great thing for travellers, Australians and simply the world in general, we thought we were a shoo-in for an Arab adventure.

Unfortunately, it wasn't to be, and instead of indulging in Middle Eastern cuisine atop the world's tallest building on Good Friday, we find ourselves here in Bundaberg.

Practically the same thing, I know.

However, my initial disappointment may not have completely gone away, but it at least waned a touch when I jumped online for some pre-holiday Dubai research (yes, I may have still been hopeful).

Detained in Dubai - a United Arabs Emirates-based organisation designed to assist Australian travellers stuck in Dubai for legal reasons - has raised concerns of the greater number of Qantas customers coming through Dubai's airport ... due to the UAE's "different laws".

And boy, are they different.

Sure, there are a few global ones on the list: drinking in public isn't the cleverest idea; smuggling drugs is sure to raise eyebrows at Customs; and getting frisky on a public beach is apparently frowned upon.

Hardly any surprises there. Hey, murder and robbery probably cause a bit of attention from authorities too.

I guess you could say that, so far, you'd probably feel as though you hadn't even been on a 15-hour international flight.

That said, I had trouble comprehending the rest of the list.

Want to take a photo to remember your day in the indoor snow park?

Sorry. Not allowed.

Want to hold your partner's hand as you get in your Dubai shopping spree?

Sorry. Public displays of affection not allowed.

Want to take your prescription or over-the-counter medicines with you so you don't - well - die on the desert safari tour?

Sorry. Most medicines not allowed.

In fact, whether the average Aussie traveller likes it or not, when it comes to the UAE legal system versus our general wellbeing and livelihood, the legal system comes first.

Heck, even pre-marital relations are cause for a police raid; perhaps Dubai is only good for honeymoons.

Can't you see how ridiculous this all is?

I don't know about you, but when I go on vacation, I want a rest ... not arrest.

Don't get me wrong: I'm just as keen as the next guy about abiding by foreign laws as a nation's visitor.

But when those laws inhibit my ability to actually have a holiday, I'm not sure I'd want to go there in the first place.

If this little partnership between Qantas and Emirates Airlines is ever going to work, they need us to want to go there.

Besides, I've entered a new competition now. Chances are I'll be off to Tokyo in June, as long as the other 999,999 entries are rubbish.

Therefore, I don't even need a trip to the UAE.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm still disappointed we didn't win.

Originally published as I want a rest, not arrest