Reporters ‘court’ out by defendant’s utterances

A defendant with one blow brought Toowoomba’s Supreme Court to a sudden halt this week.

Gone with the wind.

EVEN during serious matters before the courts some impromptu moments can break the tension and leave court attendees giggling.

Due to COVID and other matters, a hearing this week had to be beamed into different rooms in the Toowoomba Courthouse via the court’s closed circuit TV system.

While the judge and a couple of defendants and their legal teams were in one court, other defendants were in an adjoining court with one defendant in the watch house.

The media was hustled into the court library where they reported via a laptop computer connected to a TV.

The judge had screens to keep an eye on each room but early into the hearing he halted proceedings.

“Wait,” His Honour said, “there’s movement in the watch house.”

The watch house police officer informed the court that the prisoner he was minding had to use the toilet and all could see the young man walk across the screen and out of shot.

“We’ll pause until he is back,” the judge said.

Now, as anyone who regularly attends our courts would realise, the court microphones are incredibly sensitive and pick up every sound going on in the court.

As those in the rooms watching on sat in silence, suddenly the unmistakable and clearly audible sound of a fart rang out across all viewing rooms.

Court journalists are expected to keep composed at all times when in the courtroom, particularly if there is an empanelled jury in the courtroom.

So, it’s just as well that the four journos covering the case were locked away in the court library and not before the judge in the main courtroom because judges take a dim view of journos falling about laughing.

So, having sat through the impromptu performance of Butt-hoven’s 5th Symphony from the watch house stage, the scribes were composing themselves when our prisoner returned into shot, looked straight into the watch house camera and said: “Sorry ‘bout that!”

For some reason his apology in the circumstances had the journos doubled over again.

It’s not easy keeping composed, listening intently to court proceedings while keeping notes when those in the room are regularly bursting into giggles.

At the time, this scribe wasn’t sure that those observing proceedings from other courts had heard the watch house utterance but that was soon confirmed.

Later, during the morning break, I bumped into a lawyer who had been in the judge’s courtroom at the relevant time and he quipped: “That’ll test the court transcribers.

“Just how do you transcribe a fart?” he grinned.

I don’t know, but I can’t wait to read the transcript.

Decades from now, budding lawyers will be studying for the bar and will read that transcript and be left scratching their heads with …

“But there’s no defendant named Buuuurrrtt!”