Madonna King on banning ‘boys will be boys’ after Reece Walsh punch

Reece Walsh’s punch on his mate proved it’s time we move on from this silly term, Madonna King argues.

Nic Marchesi and Lucas Patchett, the two young men behind Orange Sky Laundry, describe themselves as two normal “blokes’’ who had a crazy idea.

That idea, developed when they were two years younger than Reece Walsh is now, led to a charity that provides free mobile laundry and shower services to the nation’s homeless.

Walsh’s savage punch to the face of a friend, while wearing a boxing glove this week, has been passed off, by many males in authority, as a joke between blokes.

And Walsh did that too. “Boys will be boys,’’ he said.

What a difference! Two blokes named 2016 Young Queenslanders of the Year for gifting dignity to the nation’s vulnerable versus a pretty 22-year-old highly-paid league player, who thinks boys playfully bash their mates.

“Boys will be boys” is one of those terms that we need to ban. It says nothing good and actually promotes a toxic masculinity where men are seen as only being able to express themselves through violence. And it’s simply not true.

Imagine passing off two drunken teen girls, bashing each other outside a nightclub at 2am, as “girls will be girls’’.

It wouldn’t wash. And either should our acceptance of a term - and behaviour - that does not reflect the conduct of most of the good young men in our lives.

It’s not only Walsh who needs a re-education; it’s those he answers to, and others (males, incidentally) sitting on commentary desks passing this off as something young people do, or playful physical banter between young men. Indeed, for almost all of those, it was not the punch that was problematic, but posting it on social media!

Co-founders of Orange Sky Lucas Patchett OAM and Nic Marchesi OAM. Picture: Supplied

That’s unfathomable. And I wonder if they’d think the same if some young criminal stole their car, and then posted a TikTok of it racing through the clem7 tunnel?

“Oh, four 14-year-olds wearing hoodies stole my new car, which I’m okay with - but how dare they post video of it onto social media!’’ It’s unlikely, to say the least.

The lyrics of Dua Lipa’s 2020 song “boys will be boys’’ laments the double-standards that women face as a result of a toxic masculine culture, and we spend hundreds of millions of dollars each year fighting that message. We see examples of it every day - from male teens talking over their female peers, to cheating on their partners to appearing in court on domestic violence charges.

But we also see other males - boys and men like the founders of Orange Sky Laundry - leading the charge for change; defining blokes and boys as good people doing good things for others.

Boys being boys.

Why don’t we think boys are being boys, when two young blokes pull over and help an elderly gent, who has a flat tyre on the M1?

Or the bloke, a bit older than a boy, who saw on Facebook that a woman in Coorparoo needed a new wheelchair, and bought one?

Or the really old bloke, who hadn’t been a boy for a long time, who paid for the groceries of the young mum in front of him?

Or the boys, only a few years younger than Walsh, who are leading their school service missions - from building homes overseas to feeding the homeless in the shade of the Story Bridge?

They are the boys, in most of our lives, who are being boys.

None of them are carrying boxing gloves to a party, or passing off their bad behaviour as an adolescent male right. They are our sons and brothers and nephews and partners, and they see no place in our community for a toxic male culture.

And they’re doing it despite the enormous influence of people like Andrew Tate and an ever more toxic and growing manosphere that we all should understand and eschew.

If ‘boys being boys’ is going to stay in our lexicon, then we need to redefine its meaning to envelop those who don’t see the value in punching a mate, or cheating on a girlfriend.

The term “boys will be boys’’ should be a compliment not a childish excuse that mutes behaviour that should not be condoned either on or off the field.

Boofheads will be boofheads.

Originally published as Madonna King on banning ‘boys will be boys’ after Reece Walsh punch