Edwina Bartholomew: Questionable baby names made worst 100 list

Thanks to their crazy parents, some kids are called every name in the book, argues Edwina Bartholomew. See the list and have your say.

“What’s in a name?” asked Shakespeare’s Juliet in 1597. Well, if your name happens to be Ahmiracle in 2022, then the answer is a lot.

That questionable moniker has made the list of the 100 worst baby names. It was published by Emma’s Diary and went viral this week.

The team at Emma’s are quick to point out the list is a bit of fun and state: “If you love a certain name, then you should use it and forget about what anyone else may think.”

But this is an opinion column and if you have children you will know that nothing sparks opinions quite like the name you choose for your baby.

Also on the list for boys Adolf and Hitler, for obvious reasons, Boris, presumably ruined by the ex-British PM, Ebolah, even with an H, it’s still a highly contagious disease and Lucifer and Satan in case name becomes nature in those hectic toddler years.

Boris, Ebolah, Arthur, Simon and Mattel are just some of the 100 worst baby names.

Controversially, some formerly popular names make the list. Cute little Arthur, Jax, John (sorry Johnny Howard) and Simon.

For the girls, it gets a little bit more fruity. Apple, thanks Gwyneth, Chardonnay, Kath and Kim have a lot to answer for there, and even brand names, L’Oreal, Mattel and Maybelline. Those parents clearly have an eye on a lucrative collaboration in the future.

Aimee, Alice, Flora, Mia and Skye get a bit of a bad rap and Karen also rates a mention after a tough few years. “Baby” is one baby name that shows a unique lack of creativity and “I’munique” actually has the opposite effect to what was intended.

I once interviewed a girl called Tba and when I asked the story behind the name, was told that TBA (To Be Advised) was put on the birth certificate and it stuck. I feel that mother’s pain. Who hasn’t walked into hospital thinking you have a name sorted and out pops a baby that looks like someone completely different?

We had to choose one girl’s name and later a boy’s. We went into hospital with a list and then chucked them all out. We landed on Molly for our daughter after chatting to the Irish midwife and Tom for our son after my husband’s best friend and because we have never met a Tom we didn’t like. Clearly, a planned and creative approach. As it turns out, our little curly red-headed Molly absolutely suits her name and Tom, just like his namesake, is so far a relaxed, cheery little soul. Here’s hoping Lucifer’s mum is equally as blessed.

POSSIBLY THE WORST BABY GIRL NAMES

Alexa

Aliviyah

Alice

Apple

Appaloosa

Arabella

Ahmiracle

Any

Aimee

Baby

Beberly

Blaykelee

Boomquifa

Chardonnay

Deirdre

Delilah

Elizabreath

Emmi

Ethel

Fanny

Flora

Helga

Hellzel

I’munique

Jerica

Karen

Lana

L’Oreal

Mattel

Maybelline

Mercedes

Merica

Mia

Nevaeh

North

Panthy

Phelony

Precious

Princess

Sassi

Skye

Sidero

Star

Thana

Tracey

Tu Morrow

Varaminta

Vejonica

Yuu

POSSIBLY THE MOST UNPOPULAR BOYS NAMES

Abaddon

Adolf

Anous

Ajax

Akuji

Arthur

Arlo

Bart

Bear

Bob

Boris

Boss

Brian

Buster

Cannon

Cletus

Champ

Chandler

Danger

Dennis

Dick

Diesel

Doyle

Ebolah

Edwood

Elmo

Geoffrey

George

Graham

Hitler

Inspektor

Jax

Jedi

John

Justin

Keeler

Kevin

King

Legend

Louis

Lucifer

Nigel

Sadman

Satan

Simon

Sonny

Spartacus

Stormy

Yugo

Originally published as Edwina Bartholomew: Questionable baby names made worst 100 list