Angela Mollard: Gen Z daters taking tips on how to ‘meet cute’ in real life

Young people who have largely found love via dating apps are so intrigued by scenarios of meeting in the wild they are binge watching old movies to understand how it’s done, writes Angela Mollard.

Among the things I adore about my partner is the way we met.

He’s a columnist too and while we didn’t know each other, one Sunday I read something he’d written that I thought was particularly insightful. So I dropped him a quick email to say so.

He replied promptly: “You know I’m in love with you Angela. Will you elope with me?”

I burst out laughing. The bloke had rizz. Possibly too much rizz.

I didn’t reply straight away, learning later that he was four beers into a six-pack while watching the footy and immediately regretted his bravado. He feared I’d report him to HR.

Truth was, I found it hilarious and 10 years later I still do.

Beginnings, whether it’s a relationship, a baby’s birth, a friendship or the moment you try something for the first time, are enchanting.

Actors Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant in the classic film Notting Hil.

They’re not just wonderful because they come with anticipation but because years later you can look back and revel in the retelling, the serendipity, the magic of something starting afresh.

It’s why we love “meet cutes”, those charming or amusing first encounters that have long been the hallmarks of romantic comedies.

It’s a saccharine term that appears to infantilise what can be a powerful moment of connection, but Hollywood has done a good job of reimagining the beginnings that once occurred so organically in real life.

In fact, news comes to me from the Gen Z frontline that those who have largely found love via dating apps are so intrigued by scenarios of meeting (and mating) in the wild that they are binge watching old movies and TV shows to understand how it’s done.

While I’d venture that Colin From Accounts offers one of the best meet cutes of all time, involving a nipple flash and a runover dog, apparently When Harry Met Sally, released 35 years ago, and Notting Hill, 25 years ago, are finding new audiences intrigued by the concept.

Oddly, neither was that clever: Harry Met Sally when a mutual friend suggested they share a car journey from Chicago to New York (two further meet cutes would follow), while Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts’ characters meet in Notting Hill after he spills his orange juice over her.

Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal had a couple of “meet cutes” in When Harry Met Sally, even if it wasn’t their first one.

While dating apps have offered an alternative and successful path to love, many are jaundiced by the transactional nature and crave more spontaneity.

They’re turning to TikTok where “experts” offer tips on how to engineer meetings in real life and choosing analogue activities like hobbies, travel and group events, including speed dating, to broaden their scope for connection.

As one twenty-something told me, she was completely charmed when asked on a date while walking her dog.

I’m a sucker for “how we met” stories, particularly the boldness of those who took the risk before flirting became an endangered pursuit.

Asking another on a date requires chutzpah, curiosity and a belief that you deserve good things.

Whether the request springs from an email, a brief conversation, an instant attraction, shared experience or long friendship, it’s an enduring act of hope.

There is now a social media movement to show micro-portraits of couples describing how they met in real life.

It’s this hope, this serendipity, which is at the heart of Meet Cutes NYC, an Instagram, TikTok and YouTube offering which features micro-portraits of couples describing how they met and what they like about each other.

The romantic stories that unfold are endearing, a snapshot of love’s discovery in settings as diverse as bars, book clubs, funerals, trains, dating apps, sign language schools and sports games.

Set up just over a year ago by three young guys, Jeremy Bernstein, Victor Lee and Aaron Feinberg, the trio of cupid catchers have amassed more than four million followers and plan to bring their cameras to Australia.

I wanted to know what makes it so appealing so I reached out to Feinberg.

“We learned what people cared about,” he tells me. “We realised we had a platform that offered hope and wisdom and these more tangible emotions and takeaways. We kept trying to find stories that embodied that hope.”

Perhaps it’s because the trio are not aggressive social media players or tech titans that the content has such candour and freshness.

They’re storytellers who capture vulnerability by inviting couples to reflect.

“When you meet them and get them to tell their story on the street you visibly see that you’ve made that couple’s day,” says Feinberg.

“They are saying words to each other that they wouldn’t typically say or remembering a time that they don’t always get to talk about.”

The impact is huge. Some with cancer say the stories give them joy; others in difficult or violent relationships benchmark their own experiences.

Refusing to be jaded by love is surely one of the most optimistic things humans can do. After all, what is more romantic than being brave enough to say: “Let’s try?”

Originally published as Angela Mollard: Gen Z daters taking tips on how to ‘meet cute’ in real life