Joe Hildebrand: Sparks fly and food puns abound in energy debate between Chris Bowen and Ted O’Brien

A debate on clean energy policy that descended into a cacophony of Cantonese culinary quips was the most interesting thing out of Canberra since Budget lockup, writes Joe Hildebrand.

The great detective writer Raymond Chandler once said: “When I split an infinitive, God damn it, I split it so it will stay split.”

To this the great shadow energy minister Ted O’Brien has added: “When I mix a metaphor, God damn it, I mix it so it will stay mixed.”

This exciting new literary genre exploded, as few have before it, at a debate over clean energy policy at the National Press Club in Canberra.

And not since a Brisbane man was arrested on camera for enjoying “a succulent Chinese meal” has the traditional fare of our beloved northern neighbour been writ so large on the Australian cultural landscape.

For those who missed this historic moment — which, to be fair, only occurred a couple of hours ago — O’Brien faced off with Energy Minister Chris Bowen in the third of three Sky News Debates in as many days.

Minister for Climate Change and Energy Chris Bowen. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman

This Holy Trinity began with the Leaders’ Debate, followed by the Treasurers’ Debate and has now completed its celestial arc. And in defiance of all known laws of physics the debates have miraculously got more entertaining as they have descended down the ministerial order.

In his typically modest and self-effacing style, Bowen was the first to break the mould, brandishing a zinger so fresh it still had the price tag on it.

“You mentioned opposition modelling which I think is a generous term,” he said.

“This is the document. I’ve seen more detail in a Chinese menu.”

Shadow Minister for Climate Change and Energy. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman

As we say in morning television, here’s one I prepared earlier!

And so the stage was set for a cacophony of Cantonese culinary quips, and full credit to O’Brien for jumping on board the train.

“He has read longer menus at Chinese restaurants? This is coming from the minister whose own plan would fit in a Chinese fortune cookie. If anything, that’s probably where it would belong because you crack it open and all it would be would be a slogan. No numbers, no plan, no modelling. It’s just a slogan.”

But surely Chinese fortune cookies contain not slogans but fortunes? Things like “May you live in interesting times” or “Your power bill will go down by $275”. I’ve never opened one and seen “Stop the boats!”

Still, it was the most interesting thing to come out of Canberra since I last left Budget lockup. Full credit to the boys — they left nothing on the field.

As for Bowen, surprise polling revealed this morning says that he could lose his safe Labor seat of McMahon.

Despite Bowen currently holding it by about 60-40 per cent, a poll by an outfit called Compass has put independent challenger Matt Camenzuli on 41 per cent, the Liberals on 20 per cent and the bloke who’s held it for more than 20 years on 19 per cent.

If true these numbers would upset not just the laws of politics but also the entire space-time continuum.

Unlike a succulent Chinese meal it seems a bit difficult to swallow.

Originally published as Joe Hildebrand: Sparks fly and food puns abound in energy debate between Chris Bowen and Ted O’Brien