Why Matthew Perry's death has hit so many of us so hard

For people who grew up in the 90s, Chandler Bing wasn't just "another" character on TV. 

Matthew Perry has left a legacy behind with Chandler Bing. Image: Supplied

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

It was one-liners like this that made Matthew Perry’s Friends character, Chandler Bing such a fan favourite. He was so extremely witty, adorably quirky, relatably insecure and of course utterly hilarious.

It was also why his recent death has hit so many people, really hard, including me.

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Matthew Perry has left a legacy behind with Chandler Bing. Image: Supplied

Friends fans are a loyal bunch

As a Friends super fan, my adoration for the sitcom runs deep.  I have watched the show more than any other television show in history. I own (still) the DVD Box set, I have the Scene It game – Friends edition, I own Matthew Perry's memoir, I still watch the series on subscription television when I am stuck for what to watch, I went on the Warner Brothers studio tour to see the set, visited the apartment that makes the outdoor shot of the intro while in New York; I'm unashamedly obsessed.

But the reality is, I am by far the only one.

And this is what made Friends such a huge hit, why it remains a favourite for so many today, why people see ‘Friends moments’ in everyday life (Pivot) and why the loss of Matthew Perry has hit people so hard.

For me, reading the TMZ post on my Instagram feed yesterday literally caused me to audibly gasp. My daughter who was next to me looked at me in horror, asking me what was wrong. I was legitimately, genuinely shocked and sad.

And for some non-Friends fans (and may I say could you be anymore wrong?) this reaction may seem over the top.

“You didn’t really know him,” they may say, or even the,

“You clearly haven’t lost anyone close to you,” a judgement that comes when someone can't seem to empathise may be dished out.

And no, technically, I did not know Matthew Perry, but you know what, I did know Chandler Bing, in the only way you can really know a television character, by watching them on…yep, television.

RELATED: Friends star Matthew Perry dead at 54

We all loved Chandler Bing AND Matthew Perry

And through this ‘Bing portal’ Friends fans got to know a version of Matthew Perry too.

We saw his comedy style and timing; his own improv lines and embellishments shine through. We also witnessed the electric chemistry he had with the rest of the cast and his character development from the eternally awkward ‘transponster’ to the more self-assured, yet still utterly sarcastic husband and father who utters the final line and laugh of the entire series, as the cast heads out of the apartment and Rachel suggests grabbing a coffee. "Sure. Where?" he jokes.

He made us laugh and cry and undoubtedly contributed to making Friends the success that it was.

There are only a handful of television shows that have been as iconic as Friends, with characters so unique, relatable and funny, that decades on, viewers still know not just their names but scenes, quotes and events that happened on the series too and still relate to them.

There are also only a handful of shows that have become so embedded in popular culture that even new generations are wearing shirts with their logo or characters on them, decades after they first aired on television.

Matthew Perry was best known for his role as OUR friend in Friends. Image: Supplied

RELATED: Friends pay tribute to Matthew Perry

The one where we all lost a friend

The Friends legacy is what it is because of all of our ‘friends.’ Ross, Monica, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe and Chandler. So, losing one does have an effect on those who found so much enjoyment through the show because it is like losing someone we did really know.

And that person was telling Monica he loved her for the first name while she was dancing with a turkey on her head, it was the man who loved ducks, who had his toe cut off by the woman he’d eventually marry, who embraced the name ‘Toby’ for five years because of his desperation for a doughnut, who entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and won, who can't cry, who is “helpless and awkward and desperate for love,” who moves to 1 Yemen Road Yemen to escape his girlfriend rather than just break up with her and who earns Joey’s forgiveness by shutting himself in a box.

As for Matthew Perry, the person, well his memoir, Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing released only last year, shows insight into this too. Through this, we learnt more about his struggles with addiction, his health issues, his journey in comedy, his romances and his upbringing. And I think more than ever, we rooted for him, we wanted him to continue recovering and to get his happily ever after like Chandler did.

Since his death, celebrities have shared wide-ranging tributes to him and about him but there’s one thing that nearly every single one has said - how funny and kind he was. Two words were synonymous with Chandler Bing and the actor who played him, Matthew Perry. Forever our sarcastic and treasured friend.

Originally published as Why Matthew Perry's death has hit so many of us so hard