Dating advice Dr Chris Brown swears by

He makes headlines for his romantic life but TV vet Dr Chris Brown still follows the sweet rules his beloved mum taught him.

Mother’s Day can be a surprisingly tough one. And not just for those who aren’t actually fans of breakfast in bed and all the inevitable crumbs, spilt coffee and burnt pancakes it brings.

For many people, the mention of mums reminds them of a mother recently lost, a mother they never knew or the lack of opportunity to become a mum. But for me, it’s none of those things.

My mum, Anne, is still with us. But in many ways, due to the onset of Alzheimer’s disease, her true self drifted from us many years ago.

So on Mother’s Day we like to remember the quirks and amusing qualities that made

her so uniquely Mum. There’s no doubt that Mum was good at a lot of things – lightning on a tennis court, fluent in Italian and deadly on a Scrabble board. So much so that, if you dared to take her on and the inevitable loss eventuated, she could place your audible expletive on a triple word score while translating it into something more palatable.

Dr Chris Brown pictured with his mother, Anne. Picture: @drchrisbrown via Instagram

However, if Mum did have a weakness, it was dating advice. In fact, in my early 20s, I’d often return from uni keenly hoping to strategise over whether there really was a spark with that arts or science student. And there, after laying out all the thoughts and feelings, I’d wait for the declaration from the oracle of Anne.

Her much anticipated response? A deeply profound, “Oh, it’ll work out” or the equally insightful, “She sounds nice.”

Mum didn’t see the need to get bogged down in the details. The reality is that if this were an episode of Dr. Phil, we’d have this wrapped up before the first ad break. (And this very relaxed version of Dr. Phil would have a lot more hair.)

But there’s no doubt even the most relaxed mum has a tipping point into “tiger parent” town. Hey, maybe Kris Jenner was more free-range with her kids until home-movie night got serious. And for Anne, her tipping point came at one of her regular Friday night drinks with the girls – which, crucially, occurred in the weeks after [my TV show] Bondi Vet first went to air.

The exact tipple tipping point? A casual enquiry from one of Mum’s friends as to whether I’d encountered any “starf*ckers” yet. OK … so it’s a fair, albeit reasonably direct, question. And while the rest of the gang were intrigued, Mum was shocked.

Dr Chris Brown: ‘Future girlfriends were then profiled for their suspected links to this outlawed terror cell.’ Picture: @drchrisbrown via Instagram

Clearly, that’s not a word she’d encountered on the Scrabble board. Nor was it a scenario she’d processed, so she wasted no time in expressing her horror at the thought directly to me.

Suddenly, despite swearing off giving any dating advice of note previously, she swung into action – wanting me to keep my eyes open to this starf*cking subculture that was now on an Anne Brown-monitored watchlist. And future girlfriends were then profiled for their suspected links to this outlawed terror cell.

It’s still an amusing reminder of what’s so great about mums: through all the endless hours of selfless sacrifice, sure, they may not always get it right, but they’re always looking out for us in the most achingly endearing and beautiful way. And, like all of us, every single day they’re just doing their best. Happy Mother’s Day.

Dr Chris Brown is a veterinarian and television host.

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Stellar is out on Sunday, featuring a column by Dr Chris Brown. Picture: Simon Upton for Stellar

Originally published as Dating advice Dr Chris Brown swears by